I recently found this book hidden away on my bookshelf of poems by young writers in Appalachia, which includes a poem I wrote in the 11th grade.
I wonder about all the places I’ll go,
For right now I don’t really know.
I do know what I would like life to be
But for now I’ll have to wait and see.
I want to take the right path on this long journey,
I do not ever want to be in a hurry.
If the road forks, which way will I choose?
Always the right way so I’ll never lose.
Maybe someday I’ll go into space.
Or maybe I’ll stay on earth in one place.
Maybe I’ll be in a famous band,
Or just sit back and be a fan.
I could grow up to be a famous writer,
Or maybe that writer’s favorite teacher.
Maybe forever I’ll stay where I am now
But I could find my way to India somehow.
I do know that my life will be great
Always full of love and never hate.
And in the end God will lead me
To the place where I will rest, for eternity.
This was for an assignment, I can’t remember exactly what the assignment was but I know it had something to do with life’s journey. It is weird to go back and read this, though. My Junior year of high school was 10 years ago. Where has life lead me since then? I graduated high school. I went to college. I fell in love. I transferred colleges to study film, which was my true passion, not graphic design which was what I had been studying. I moved in with my boyfriend – a few years later we got married. I was forced out of college due to no financial aid when I was only 6 classes away from getting a BA in film editing and an AA in screenwriting.
I feel like I’ve honestly accomplished nothing. For the most part I do love my life, and I do know that one’s life is greatly relying upon the decisions that a person makes. But I just feel that I’m pushing 30 and stuck. I have been entering screenwriting competitions with my husband – we actually won 3rd place in one (whoohoo!). But those are the bright spots in an otherwise uncreative existence.
I do try to stay positive and live a “come what may” existence. Some nights though I just lay in bed unable to sleep thinking “What am I doing here? I’m supposed to be out there in the world, doing something!”
Hey at least now that it looks like we are going in the direction of commercial flights to space, I might actually have a shot at that whole going to space thing!