Proofread!

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I’ve been playing this game WeTopia on Facebook, because my friend Ellen DeGeneres told me to. It is like your standard Facebook game, but supposedly the rewards you reap can go to help funding for real world projects, such as U.S. Literacy projects or helping to feed homeless children. I’m all about helping the world out, and it’s good for passing a few minutes time here and there. Plus Ellen told me to do it, and well, who can say “no” to those eyes?

While playing the game, you choose which program you want to send “joy” to – which will provide actual funding for that group. Since I think the literacy rate in our country could be better than it is, I chose to go for helping out the U.S. Literacy Program. I wanted to read a little more about the project, when I came across this:

Now, I actually come from the Appalachian region of Kentucky. I was born smack dab in the middle of the mountains in a place called Harlan. In Harlan you have a mammy and a pappy and you waller in the holler and drink moonshine that the bootlegger brewed up. (Translation: You have a mom and dad and you wallow in the hollow.) When my parents divorced, I moved with mom about an hour away. Still in the mountains, and still full of “hollers”. My education was just fine, but I knew and interacted with kids in the surrounding areas and I could tell that the school I was attending was obviously better. I was in a program called Upward Bound (which trust me is a story for another day) where even the teacher couldn’t teach algebra correctly. My friends and I had to point it out to him – but none of the other kids had even taken algebra, and we were in between our sophomore and junior year of high school!

Anyway, I digress…big time. The point is, it’s kind of ironic that this is a group to support Appalachian literacy, and the sentence here doesn’t even make sense – “Children in low-income areas, such as the Appalachia region of Kentucky, often being school nearly two years behind their peers.” – Say what? What I think they are trying to get at is children in low-income areas are nearly two years behind their peers. And I have seen first hand the truth in that. But please, can’t we proofread sentences before publishing them to a game that is supposed to be helping LITERACY?! Even I proofread this blog about 4 times before I hit publish – and I know I make mistakes, I’m only human after all. But I’m just one girl who grew up in Appalachia, where apparently we can’t read or write.

Ok, rant over! I hope every one has a great New Year! Here’s to 2012! Hopefully Ellen will finally agree to be my friend.

Kreativ Award!

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First of all, that word just looks all wrong. I felt dirty typing it! I was never great at spelling, because when I was a wee-tyke they taught us how to spell phonetically instead of the real way (“goat” was “got” with a line over the o for instance), and it really confused my brain to spelling. It’s really frustrating actually. I know I’m terrible at spelling, but even I know there’s nothing right about that word! Anyway, I digress.

I guess this next point should have been my “first of all”, but I’m not going to delete all that I wrote above, so I’m just going to keep rolling on. So I will go with this – A. I’d like to thank ScribblingHermit for passing this award to me!

The rules:

1. Share 10 things you don’t know about me.
2. Pass the award onto 6 other bloggers.

These rules about sharing things you don’t know about me are always hard. I maintain that I’m probably the most boring person on Earth, not a whole lot happens to me….but I’ll give it a go!

10 Things You Don’t Know About Me

1. I have temporal lobe epilepsy. I think. The doctors haven’t really diagnosed me with this because I can’t pay the thousands of dollars needed for proper testing. I did get a free CAT scan just to make sure I didn’t have brain cancer – thank God I didn’t. But anyway, this has been affecting me since I was a teenager, and I have seen a neurologist who says in his professional opinion this is what I have, he just can’t write it down on paper without me actually going through the series of testing, which involves putting leads up my nose to get a clearer image of my brain. Anyway, it’s really weird when I have an “episode” as I call them. I get this feeling of deja vu and start staring off into nothingness. It’s hard for me to talk, and when I do it comes out in gibberish. It’s really hard to think when it happens. There have even been times during an episode that I couldn’t remember my husband’s name – which is not the most comforting feeling in the world. I don’t get these episodes all the time, thankfully. I haven’t had one in almost 2 years now.

2. I wish I was better at math and science, so I could be an astronomer. I took an advanced astronomy class in college and it was really amazing, and really hard.

3. I have never done drugs – not even pot. I’m too paranoid because there is substance abuse hitting me from both sides of my family. I even ask doctors not to prescribe me things people accidentally get addicted to. You hear so many stories of people having a bad accident then getting addicted to their pain-killers. I’m so scared of that happening!

4. I’m not ready for kids yet, but I will be 28 in a little over 2 months and I’m starting to get scared about my “clock ticking out” – even though my mom had my sister Becca when she was 43.

5. I went to college for film editing – someday that will happen!

6. The first concert I ever went to was Hanson. I was 13. I called my dad begging him to take me so intensely that I was crying. I still love Hanson. My favorite bands are Red Hot Chili Peppers, Muse, Green Day, Marilyn Manson, and of course my cousin Tune-Yards (Who will be on Jimmy Kimmel Thursday January 5th. Watch it. Love it.)

7. I cuss like a sailor.

8. I believe in ghosts, aliens, possessions… anything that could possibly keep you up at night with a flashlight in hand.

9. I can build computers. I never had formal training at it, just some emailed instructions from my friend and a lot of tinkering out things myself.

10. I’m terrified of balloons. I think Roy from the show The IT Crowd said it best, “Balloons explode, Jen. They explode suddenly, and unexpectedly. They are filled with the capacity to give me a little fright, and I find that unbearable.” I too find it unbearable.

And The Award Goes To:
(In no particular order)

Limebird Writers

Reviewing Shelf

Project 150

Conversing With Novels

Life in the Blue Ridges

Spectacular Disaster

Check them out!

Duly Noted

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I just had an “oh wow” moment. Often through the day my mind lives in the clouds. If I’m not reading or watching a favorite movie, or TV show, I’m thinking about them. Running scenes or moments that I loved over and over in my mind. I’m sure everyone does this.

I was sitting here just wasting time online, not really paying attention to anything. My mind was wondering. I was thinking of a scene in a book where an evil mage is torturing some lowly peasant. The scene was from the eyes of his son though, a child innocently watching as his father used really evil magic. It was really scary for him to see his father in this light.

But I couldn’t remember where this scene was from – what book had I read that in?

Then it hit me, it was my book. I wrote that.

I haven’t touched it, other than to read through it a couple of times, in over a year. I think maybe it was the universe kicking me in the pants to pick it back up. Duly noted universe. I hear you loud and clear.

David’s as-yet-untitled-adventures will be properly sorted, edited, and re-written. I think I officially have myself a New Years resolution.

Dear Ellen

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Dear Ellen DeGeneres,

I have decided I want to be your friend. I know that is just the most ridiculous thing, because how could I want to be friends with a celebrity. I don’t really KNOW you or anything. But, I have read your book “The Funny Thing Is…” and it is hilarious. As I was reading it I thought to myself, “This is someone I need to be friends with.” On your show you always seem SO happy and carefree. I find myself bursting out into random song and dance (with the curtains pulled very very tight might I add…) and always think of you when I do.  I think if more people in this world had friends like you, it would be a much happier place! People would smile and dance around more. Maybe they’d stop being such sour-pusses.

I know this is really random. I get random thoughts a lot. I think I make my husband tired with all my random thoughts. You know, like I want to write a novel, and I want to go to the moon, and I want to make a movie, and I want to fly to India, and I want  to do this that or the other all in the span of about 2 3/4 minutes. It makes him tired. But I’ve kept the idea that I want Ellen DeGeneres to be my friend for longer than 2 3/4 minutes and I haven’t made my husband sigh when I say “I want to be Ellen DeGeneres’s friend”, so I know this is a good plan to follow through on.

In closing, I want you to know I’m a pretty average person. I don’t do much in my day to day life. I have the whole “9 to 5” thing going on (except its more like 6 p.m. – 3 am. but same basic principle). I’m in college for film editing – and have been since about 2002(well, I’m having financial aid issues at the moment so have stopped this semester and last semester but in the fall I will go back and finish 6 classes to have an AA in screenwriting and BA in film editing), married with 4 cats, tiny apartment, 2 sisters – one of which is twenty years younger than I am, no felonies, I never got in trouble in school except one time I was late to class one too many times and got a detention for that, I make a REALLY GOOD chocolate pie and chocolate peanut butter fudge, I love chocolate just like my grandfather, who I call Daddaddy, I love cartoons and mexican food. So, these are the things I would bring to the friendship.

Your Friend,

Laura

*LOL I wrote this in January and just stumbled on it.

The Chicken Band

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My sister Becca, who will be 8 in February (I can’t believe it!) is always coming up with the craziest stories! She’s a Pisces like I am, and mom is always saying we are a lot alike. Maybe that’s why we are so close even though there is a 20 year age gap between us.

I was going through reading old things I had written down last year, and came upon this jewel, which I am pasting here today. This is over a year old. So without further ado, I present to you —

THE CHICKEN BAND

I have two sisters, Kelly who is almost 20, and Becca, who is 6. Actually, Becca was born about a week or so before my 20th birthday! Last year in Kindergarden, Becca won the award for “Most Imaginative”, and knowing her, I can definitely see why.

A couple of weeks ago our mom, Kelly, Becca, and I went to the swimming pool. They call break once an hour for 10 minutes at the pool, so kids don’t go using the potty in the pool. During one of these breaks, Becca started telling us all about her favorite band — THE CHICKEN BAND. This little tale of hers went all the way through that 10 minute break. When they blew the whistle to get back in the water, Kelly decided she wanted to lay in the sun and take a nap for the next hour. During that ENTIRE time, Becca was still telling me about The Chicken Band. When the next hour rolled around, they blew the whistle for break and we all went back to join Kelly. To her shock, Becca was still talking about The Chicken Band. Please trust me I am not exhagerating, that kid did not stop talking about The Chicken Band for one minute! Through this second break she was still talking about them, and even a half hour into the next hour of swimming! She talked completely non-stop about The Chicken Band for an hour and a half! I now know everything about The Chicken Band.

So, who is The Chicken Band you ask?

Well, they are four brothers. Their names are Chon – Lead Singer, Ton – Keyboards, Avebelel – Drums ( Pronounced “Uh-veh-bull-uhl”…don’t ask me, ask Becca!), and Gabe – Bass. Their last name is White, and they have triple blue eyes. Even though they are all brothers, Chon is the only one that is British. The rest are American. They have a blue and white car, just like the walls in their huge apartment. They also have glow in the dark pajama’s that are really soft!

The Chicken Band have such hits as “Lying to Moon” (Which is a sad song, but only just a little), “Pain in the Neck”, “Night to Sunshine”, and the all time saddest song ever, “God, Oh Love Me” – And yes, you had better believe that Becca sang each and every one of these songs to us on the spot, so we would know what they sound like! I think it was while she was singing us “Lying to Moon” That she was just belting it out there in the pool and had herself a little bit of an audience! She sang for about 4 or 5 minutes straight, and she was really getting in to it!

So far they have two CD’s. They also have a DVD. If you go to “Special Features” on their DVD, you can get a special live performance of “Night to Sunshine”. Its really neat,  you should check it out!

Chon is Becca’s favorite. But if you meet any member of The Chicken Band, you will pass out and your tongue will roll out of your mouth. – Becca demonstrated what happens when anyone meets them!

We are going to see them, in December!! We are all so excited. They are cancelled right now, but they will be back in December. And when we see them, we will pass out!

I know I’m forgetting things about The Chicken Band, she did go on about them for an hour and a half after all! One thing about Becca is, she’s free entertainment!

Step 1. Look up; Step 2. Read

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My husband and I made the mistake of going out for lunch and shopping the day after Christmas. Lesson learned – remember to be a hermit on December 26th in the future. I can tell we are getting old. More and more we complain about the kids that parent’s should probably be leashing up to leave the house. You know, the teenagers. I don’t recall being this brain-dead as a teenager.

We went to the book/CD/DVD/Video Game store, and at the check out they have a soda pop machine. I love getting a Coke Zero there because this machine has a button you can press to get vanilla (or cherry or lime) mixed in the Coke. I marched up to the machine and pressed the button for vanilla, and then hit the big ole Coke Zero button, only to discover that they were out of Coke Zero. I let the nearest cashier know and then stood aside waiting on them to re-fill the machine.

Much to my horror, a group of three teenagers decided they were also thirsty. They couldn’t figure out how to use the machine. It’s your standard pop machine, you know the kind they have in every McDonald’s, except it has three buttons with the vanilla, lime, or cherry flavor if you decide that you want it.

The best thing about this machine is the big ginormous sign on the front of it that says, “Step 1. Pour Ice – Step 2. Press Desired Flavor Shot – Step 3. Press Button For Desired Soda”. They failed to read this so they could not figure out how to get both the flavor shots and pop in their cups at the same time. One girl had her friend hold her cup for her while she held both the flavor shot button and coke button at the same time. That resulted in roughly…nothing. The guy of the trio kept beating down on the vanilla button exclaiming, “This doesn’t work, nothing is coming out!”

I wanted to yell, “Of course nothing is coming out! Read the freaking sign!”

Well I gave up on the cashier finding a free moment in the post Christmas rush to refill the Coke Zero. So once the intelligent trio shambled off with their less-than-satisfying drinks I decided to go for my alternative – half coke, half diet coke with vanilla mixed in. I – having read the sign – filled my cup with ice, then pressed the button for vanilla, followed by the button for Coke. Miraculously it worked.

As they say, reading is FUNdamental!

Merry Christmas

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Well I failed on my make-a-post-a-day goal for the month. I didn’t write anything yesterday because I’m a child. I went to bed early on Christmas eve. Like, 9 at night early. I was too excited to stay awake! That’s so early that on days I work I’m still about 2 hours from my lunch break at 9 p.m. I am insane.

So my husband and I woke up at 4 in the morning today, laid around trying to convince ourselves we could sleep a little more, and then finally gave up and opened gifts at 5. And it was a great Christmas!

All the stuff the husband gave me!

It was a very Ellen Christmas this year. Maybe she will take notice and be my BFF, as I have written to her several times in the past to do. Ellen, if you are reading this, it is destiny for us to be friends. I know this, you should know this.

OK well I only have 2 minutes to hit PUBLISH or I’ll be two days down without a post in December, and I just can’t let that happen. I hope everyone had a great Christmas!