The other day I was thinking about that one time I thought I was going to go to prison for spilling spaghetti sauce on the carpet. That got me to thinking about a few more weird things that I did when I was a kid.
* I used to get my foot caught in the middle of my bike chain…all the time. I don’t even know how this is possible, but I’d start out on my bike with one foot on each side, like a normal person, and then out of nowhere my right foot for instance would go through the bike chain and to the other side of the bike, where my left foot was peddling. Needless to say this resulted in me crashing a lot. One time this happened when I was 6 or 7, right after they had just put new blacktop on the road, so I burned my face!
* When I was 6 years old my sister Kelly was born. One night my mom put me in the tub to take a bath. She told me not to make a lot of noise, and not wanting to ever get into trouble I kept to my promise not to be noisy and wake the baby. Well, it got to the point that I was done with my bath and wanted to get out. So I started whispering “mom, mom I’m done.” Not that she could hear that..at all.
* For some reason around the age of 7 or 8 I got really concerned about my acne. Now, you may be asking, “Laura, what acne, you were only 7 or 8, surly you had no acne?” Well, you’d be right. I had no acne of course, but by golly I wanted to nip that non-existent acne in the bud. So I asked my mom for advice. I will go to my grave swearing that she told me when she was younger that she would put peanut butter on her face to prevent acne. She claims she told me that eating peanut butter caused acne…but I think she’s just making that up! At any rate, taking my mom’s apparently non-existent advise to heart I promptly began smearing peanut butter on my face! Half a jar later I went to present myself to my mom to make sure I’d done it right. That resulted in a bath…and probably again causing my mom to wonder why she’d had such a weird kid.
*One time around the age of 10 or so my mom introduced me to a classmate. I threw out my hand to shake hers and said “Hi, my name is Laura. I’m neurotic!” I was not and never have been neurotic, just weird!
I guess some things never change…