The Ghetto-Adjacent

11

My husband and I live in the ghetto-adjacent, as he likes to call it. Now I know in the grand scheme of the world, our little neighborhood isn’t the ghetto in terms of inner city ghetto. But for small town Kentucky… it’s a bit rough. Well, the street we are adjacent to, that is. Our street is a bit hit or miss.

This is what the ghetto-adjacent looks like through a mound of snow!

The walls in our apartment are paper thin. The neighbor is cussing out is dog? I can hear it. Burps. Hear it. Yelling at the game. Check. Due to these thin walls…and the nature of our neighborhood, my husband and I have had our fair share of interesting neighbors in the uh… 7 or 8 years we’ve live here? I can’t even remember. We don’t get to know our neighbors, mostly because we are terrified of them. So we just came up with descriptions and nicknames for them all.

1. Pukey and Allergy Boy: We named them this because we could hear the woman puking all the time, and one time we heard her say that the guy was allergic to chicken. They were fairly inoffensive as neighbors, but they were our first here.

2. Victory Man and Victory Minion who lived in Victory Manor (aka the apartment next door): Two men sharing the apartment next door. We named them this because they seemed to find everything victorious! The game. VICTORY. Using the toilet. VICTORY! We’d hear them slamming the toilet seat down, and yelling what surely was a victory call.

3. The Polygamist: No explanation needed.

4. The crack dealer in #1: Same

5. The Cable-Stealing Mullet-Man and Baby-Stealing Stripper: Just like it sounds.

6. The guy who’s wife threw his head through the wall, who in turn threw his brother’s head through the wall. They all got arrested. The pregnant wife was arrested for something heroin related. They loved Nickelback. And the crappy Limp Bizkit version of “Behind Blue Eyes.”

7. Corey: We only know his name because he came by bumming pop and cigarettes all the time. He cried a lot. I think his girlfriend or whatever she was got knocked up by another dude. He found this out on Thanksgiving. It was a loud Thanksgiving. He threw an ashtray full of ashes at our door… I don’t know why.

8. The crazy lady who had 4 kids in a 2 bedroom apartment and her abusive baby-daddy. She’s pregnant again. Thankfully, they just moved out. They were loud. I once  had my mom on the phone and held my phone up in the air asking if she could hear them…she could.

Good News…The Best News!

16

I should be punched for all the whining I did in my last post, because I was feeling too sorry for myself to realize the number one thing – I have an amazing family, husband, and friends.

My sister called me today…with news I can’t even believe. Pinch me, I’m surely dreaming.

Because of her and her dad’s generosity and good fortune, I’m going back to school! (no she’s not my half-sister, no matter what the technical term really is. I have a pet-peeve with the term “half-sister”… )

I

AM

GOING

BACK

TO

SCHOOL!

I know, not to count my chickens before they hatch and all that, but I’m so on cloud 50,000 right now. I’m in shock. I’m in tears. After so many false promises and blatant lies from financial aid people I had all but given up on finishing school – but it was a thought that literally tormented me day in and day out.

Ahhhhhh I can’t even think properly anymore! I just wanted to share my good news. I haven’t been awake very long and haven’t had breakfast…but I feel like I need some steak or something to celebrate!

 

Kelly at age 11, me at age 18 - The two of us back in the day...that feels like a different lifetime.

 

 

Being a Bummer

6

Glee pretty much bummed me out tonight. It wasn’t even a really sad episode, I don’t think. I don’t really know what it was, but something just… bummed me out!

The characters are all saying goodbye to each other, and I hate that a lot of them are graduating and moving on. The powers that be at the show, of course, aren’t releasing many details about what the show will be like post-graduation, but I’m just assuming they will all go, never to be seen again.

I know, I know, quit whining. They are a bunch of high school kids ready to go on with their lives, and I’m just a —- what am I?

That’s what really started bumming me out. What am I? I don’t know. This past weekend, my fellow class of 2002-ers celebrated our 10 year high school reunion. They are all professionals now, married (well, I know I’m married but still), kids, own homes, have careers. I just feel like I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m in no-man’s land. Somehow I’m not young enough to be just out of high school anymore, and I’m too old to even be a normal college student. I’m just here… stuck.

I don’t have anything to look forward to. It’s all gone. The characters in Glee have their whole lives in front of them now. They’ve got schools to apply to, and dreams to make true. I’m just here, I think, waiting for something that will never happen. I have a go nowhere job. It’s not a career, it just pays the bills. It’s not what I dreamed about when I was a kid. There was supposed to be more than this. But I can’t finish school. I’m out of financial aid and I can’t come up with the $14,000 I need to finish out of my own pocket. I don’t have a rich uncle or daddy’s credit card to blow through. All I have is myself, and my husband.

I know, life is what you  make it. I fully beleive that. But sometimes it’s just not so simple as saying go do what you want, whatever makes you happy. That would involve somehow probably moving to California, and even if I did… I still don’t have a degree. And the degree I was going for in the first place is probably pointless. Why can’t I go back 10 years and start over, just study something normal in a state school that doesn’t cost so much.

OK I’m just whining now. I know it. And I’m sorry. I  know this isn’t my normal quirky upbeat happy go lucky come what may attitude. I’m not even going to tag this with anything…. I just needed to get out my feelings.

I just wish I had that hope and fear that the characters of Glee are feeling right now (well you know… the made up characters with their made up feelings). They bummed me out because I realized I’m not like them anymore.

Fun with Instagram

7

Sorry for my silence this past week. I’m not sure where my mind has been, but it’s not been on words. I don’t even have a cool excuse like I was off sky diving, or wrestling sword fish. I just haven’t had anything to say. I still don’t have anything to say, but didn’t want to continue this streak of silence.

I kept hearing about the phone app Instagram, so I finally broke down and downloaded it. This is the result:

This is what happens when I drag my husband to the laundry mat with me.

This is what happens when I'm awake.

This is what happens because I love the color orange.

This is just a random picture of ice cream that I took and am in love with. Looking at it makes me happy. I think it's the sprinkles.

This is what happens when I watch too much Supernatural and take random pictures of my screen. *Swoon*

Ah well, a fun way to waste some time with pictures. I hope words find their way back to me this week.


What the World Wants to Know

11

Sometimes I find strange search engine terms that have led people to my blog. My husband found it amusing that he wrote one blog post about Katherine Heigel in her bra, and now gets traffic daily from people searching that out.  So now he includes a picture of her in a bra with every post. Seriously, world? This is what motivates people … Katherine Heigel in a bra.

Anyway, here are some of the more interesting things that people have done a google search on leading them to my blog (I’m copying and pasting these just as they are, I’m not correcting spelling or grammar):

limebirds band: Well, I am a part of the Limebird Writers, but I didn’t know we had a band! Can I join in on tambourine?

paintings of man sex: Oh yeah, paintings of man sex, I know how that led someone to my blog….wait, what? Paintings of man sex? No I don’t think I’ve ever written about or included paintings of man sex. Do you think now that I’ve said “Paintings of man sex”  5 times it will lead more people here? I hope they aren’t disappointed when they find 0 paintings of man sex. (Disturbingly enough, this brought 2 people to my blog…)

pitchers of supernatural: Well I wasn’t aware that one could drink the Winchester brothers (must….get….mind….out … of … gutter… nope too late!)… but I have posted pictures of Supernatural. Here’s one now!

cheap ways to cover walls: Been throwing one too many head through a wall and need to cover up the crime? Sorry to say I cannot help in that department.

sidegoggled: Now this I’m actually pleased to see. It confirms that I in fact did not make up the word side goggled. Take that husband! Neener needer boo boo!

how would i look like gails mother from hunger games: I don’t know how you would look like Gale’s mother, maybe because that is the way you were born? This question is giving me brain damage.

fat kid from harry potter: Well that’s just hurtful! How would you like it if I called you “skinny kid from the internet”? Yeah… doesn’t really have a sting to it, does it? Moving on.

cheesecake congress: Do we vote for cheesecakes to be in congress? Or is there a congress composed of only cheesecakes? I’m intrigued by this idea of cheesecake congress. More importantly, I really want some cheesecake now.

cheesecake deprivation: That is a sad SAD thought, to be sitting alone deprived of cheesecake. That should be illegal.

what is the first book in the uglies series: Uglies

“pantyhose” husband: Again, why did this search term lead someone to my blog? My husband doesn’t wear pantyhose, that I know of. (Well…there was this one Halloween…) If he did happen to wear pantyhose, I certainly wouldn’t blog about it for the world to see.

what is neville’s real name in real life?: IMDb.com is a great website.

last name woo: It’s a pretty fun last name to have, if I do say so myself. It really confuses people when they see me since I’m a super fair-skinned, light-haired and  blue-eyed woman, and they learn my last name. No, no one has asked me if I was Chinese on the phone (a receptionist asked me if I ever got that question). Oddly enough, my husband who is part Chinese doesn’t look a bit Chinese at all, but no one seems to question why his last name is Woo…

dax shepard sam rockwell: Oh, I hope my husband doesn’t see this.

“two lindsay lohans”: Dear God, no! Oh wait you probably mean The Parent Trap, don’t you?

are you a man or a muppet: I’m a muppet of a man.

that awkward moment when dean winchester: bursts into my room naked. Oh wait, no my head was still in the gutter from earlier, sorry about that.

These are the things that keep people up at night. Now, these are the things that keep me up at night.

Tune-Yards Lovin’

0

What’s that you say? I have a super awesome amazing cousin, Merrill? The leader of this kick-ass band Tune-Yards.

Well, I can’t agree with you more! Thank you for pointing it out.

Oh, you heard Tune-Yards is playing Bonnaroo, which is being headlined by the likes of Radiohead and Red Hot Chili Peppers? That is like the most exciting thing I’ve ever heard!

Oh wait? You mean Tune-Yards is also playing at Lollapalooza this year – also headlined by the Red Hot Chili Peppers? You’ve got to be pulling my leg!

Oh, you’re not? Give me a moment while I pick my jaw off the floor.

My cousin, can I be your groupie?

WOW this is so amazing! Not only is she playing two huge U.S. festivals this summer, but her current U.S. tour (and previous U.S. tour) is selling out at some of the venues.

Tune-Yards released a new video for “My Country”? Oh, I must watch that immediately!

 

Ah, much better!

 

 

13 1/2 Reasons It’s Great To Be A Fat Kid!

10

Cthulhu Cake made by my friend Amy.

Campbell's Chicken and Cheese Soup!

Golden Corral's Chocolate Wonderfall!

Christmas 2011 dinner!

Thanksgiving dinner, so good it came out blurry!

St. Patrick's day pizza at CiCi's.

Fantastic Roll from Koto Japanese Bistro.

While my baby sister Becca does make this fat kid happy, it's the funnel cake that makes me a fat kid!

Godzilla roll....it WILL destroy cities!

No heads were harmed in the making of this Jell-o.

Orange Leaf - self serve frozen yogurt, that has to be Heaven, right?

Spiderman Roll - Take 1

Spiderman Roll - Take 2 (Get it... two pics of the same food = 13 1/2 reasons? heh? heh? Yeah I'm not clever. )

Because deep fried everything is always better!