Insane People: Part 3

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Working with the public has made me feel like this:

 

Sometimes people say things that just leave me speechless.

 
Customer: Don’t you have an earlier appointment, like one tomorrow?

Me: I can certainly put in a request to see if he can call you tomorrow, but I can’t promise it.

Customer: He better not come tomorrow! He will come when I damn well say he comes.

Me:…………………….

So… why did you ask?

Then I had another conversation that had me shaking my head.

Customer: I was told to call and have a $300 credit placed on my account.

Me: Why?

Customer: So the installation man can be paid.

Me: That’s not a procedure we have in place. He is paid by completing the job.

Customer: It is too.

Me: No, the installer is paid by doing the work not by having a credit on your account. A credit deducts money off of the balance due on your monthly statement.

Customer: No, that is how it works. You put a credit on the account and then the installer is paid.

Oh, my bad, I didn’t realize you worked here… Why do people insist they know how companies work? I’ve had people telling me they know I can do things because they work at a bank, or because they also work at a customer service center. I’m glad for you and your jobs but not all companies are cut from the same cloth. Not all companies have the same systems that perform the same function that have the same end result. Not all companies have the same set of rules. Sure some may share similarities but you cussing at me for 12 minutes isn’t going to magically make a procedure I previously told you was impossible suddenly possible. If only I was made of magic.

Ah well, I guess at the end of the day I’m grateful for the insanity, because it allows me to have a job.

Insane People: Part 2
Insane People: Part 1

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Movie Confessions Blogathon

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I read this post over at the awesome Kloipy Speaks who found it from someone who found it from someone who found it from someone who found it on myfilmviews.com. And thus, after much begetting, I have now decided to take it upon myself to join in the fun.

Which classic movie don’t you like/can’t enjoy and why?

Apocalypse Now. Maybe I need to give this movie another go. There was this one time in between my junior and senior year of high school, where we had to read Beowulf, and it pissed me off! How dare they assign homework over summer vacation! I begrudgingly read the darn thing, hating every word of it. Two years later during my sophomore year of college, we had to read Beowulf. I don’t know if it was the fact that I’d matured a little (yeah right) or it wasn’t summer vacation so I was more open to reading confusing texts, whatever it was – I loved it! Beowulf is a freaking awesome story! Anyway, I think that’s similar to what happened with Apocalypse Now. I wasn’t a big fan of the book (and maybe I should give it another go, I may love it and just not realize it), and so when we had to watch the movie in AP English IV in high school…I just wouldn’t let myself like it.

Which ten classic movies haven’t you seen yet?

I’m sure tons upon tons! It’s hard to think of movies you’ve not seen though… hmm…So I went to Rotten Tomatoes and found a list of 100 greatest classics, and copied the first 10 I came to.

  • Rear Window
  • Dr. Strangelove Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
  • North by Northwest
  • The Third Man
  • All About Eve
  • Laura
  • Modern Times
  • Repulsion
  • Cool Hand Luke (The Gilmore girls would be so dissapointed in me!)
  • Rebecca

Hm… Mom do you have something going on with classic films here? My name is Laura and my 8 year old sister is Rebecca… Is there a classic out there named Kelly?

Have you ever sneaked into another movie at the cinema?

Yes. I don’t remember what we were seeing but I was at the movies with my best friend Monica and I think we weren’t impressed so we went to a different theater that was playing 10 Things I Hate About You. To be fair we did purchase a movie ticket, we just didn’t like the movie we went to see originally.

Which actor/actress do you think is overrated?

Actor: Matthew McConaughey. Does he own a shirt? I know, I know, I’m supposed to be swooning at his feet….but really? Pass.

Actress: Zooey Deschanel. I mean, she’s alright, I don’t hate her. I don’t shoot myself at the site of having to watch a movie with her in it. BUT, she plays the same person every time. Hipster quircky blah blah blah.

From which big director have you never seen any movie (and why)?

Billy Wilder. It’s not like I’m avoiding the films, I just haven’t gotten around to seeing any of them for one reason or another.

Which movie do you love, but is generally hated?

Twilight. Does that count? Don’t judge me!

Have you ever been “one of those annoying people” at the cinema?

I’m sure. When I was a teenager. All teenagers are annoying, yes? Yes. Actually I was an OK teenager, I just had fits of loud uncontrollable giggles.

Did you ever watch a movie, which you knew in advance would be bad, just because of a specific actor/actress was in it? Which one and why?

I was having a hard time thinking of one for this, so I asked my husband because he remembers things about me more than I do. He said we went to see this movie named Twisted in 2004 because Sam Jackson was in it. Now… I don’t remember this at all, so the husband pulls up a trailer for me to watch. I watched the trailer, I still didn’t remember it, and about halfway through I checked out of the trailer because it looked so boring. So, I’m just going to have to trust the hubby on this one that we actually saw this movie. I’m going to say I don’t remember it because it was so boring. It’s either that or I’ve developed dementia early on in life.

Did you ever not watch a specific movie because it had subtitles? 

I won’t if I’ll be laying in bed while I’m watching the movie, unless I know I’ll be awake and able to watch the screen the whole time. I don’t mind subtitles, I just want to actually be able to see them good.

Are there any movies in your collection that you have had for more than five years and never watched?

Ultra Violet. I don’t know why I haven’t watched it. There’s a video store in town that has amazing deals on their rental movies, and they sometimes sell them for $1. So my husband and I end up with tons of movies that sit on the shelf for months or years before we watch them.

Which are the worst movies in your collection and why do you still own them?

Well, we did own this movie called The Edison Death Machine… which is just terrible. It was actually stolen when the ole hubby and I took our honeymoon trip to Vegas two summers ago. We were robbed, but had it not been for that we’d still own the movie. You know, I love me a good cheesy B-movie made on a dime budget, but that movie is just…terrible. There is no other word other than terrible. I hope whoever stole it was forced to watch it and nothing else for a week straight. That might make up for the Play Station 3  they got!

Do you have any confessions about your movie watching setup at home?

Nothing strange here. If we’re in the living room we watch on the TV with either the XBox or the PS3. If we are in the bedroom we watch movies off the iMac, mostly from Netflix.

Any other confessions you want to make?

I watched things at the age of 6 that no 6 year old should ever be watching. Freddy Krueger, Night of the Living Dead, Tales From the Crypt

Oh, I have a confession. I hated Harry Potter before I saw it. I was a full on hater drinking on my hateraide. Then…I watched it. And I dumped all my hateraide down the toilet and begged the Wizengamot to forgive me! They did, luckily, and so Neville Longbottom and I live happily ever after.

What the World Wants to Know – July

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You guessed it! Time to see what weird google searches brought visitors to my blog in the last 30 days.  Without further ado (I copied and pasted these as is):

  • my granny pantyhose blog – Um?? I don’t even want to know.
  • shut up brain it’s sleep time – You’ve got a point there! It is sleep time dammit!
  • husband says our neighborhood looks like the ghetto – Maybe you should move then. Oh, wait…it’s my neighborhood that is the ghetto. Maybe I should move then. Nah that’s too much effort.
  • grammas in pantyhose –  Really? Why? This is disturbing, and I know I shoot myself in the foot by even putting this in a post…but when have I ever written about “grammas” and “pantyhose” together? There was this one time…oh wait, no, that never happened…
  • i’m married and i’m obsessed with tom hiddleston – Me too girlfriend, me too.

  • “my husband’s belly button” – my husband has a pretty amusing belly button, now that I think about it. I like to button attack him when he least suspects it. Mwahahaha. Oh crap, he reads this.
  • harry potter fat kid – Bitch I know you’re talkin’ bout Neville and you can just back on up off that “fat” comment, he is svelte and amazing and we don’t go ’round talkin’ bout Neville like that!…..Ahem whoah sorry about that, I seemed to have gone a little crazy.
  • “90s bangs” – Please, no. Don’t do it. Nothing good will come of it. Put the scissors down and slowly back away.
  • limebirds – Yeah, Limebirds! Now that was worthy a google search!
  • tom hiddleston loves cheese cakes – Well who the heck doesn’t?

There you have it folks, the things that keep the world up at night. They’re definitely keeping me up at night now…

 

Insane People: Part 2

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There’s something about working customer service that really opens ones eyes to the insanity that abounds in this world.  People get so worked up about things that don’t matter! There was one guy the other day saying we “ruined his life.” – I’m still not sure how, but I just can’t imagine calling Time Warner up and telling them they’ve ruined my life. I mean sure, Time Warner has some of the crappiest customer support I’ve ever had to deal with, but at the end of the day I know I could go out and get my internet somewhere else if I felt they were ruining my life!

Anyway, I digress.

One of the things that kills me about people is that they don’t seem to grasp the concept of commerce. I never realized before I started working where I do that so many things in life are supposed to be free, like cell services, cable, internet, etc…

Me: Hello, (insert customer name here) how can I help you today?

Customer: I got an email that my card was charged, I didn’t authorize that.

Me: Our billing is all automatic, we automatically debit your payment each month.

Customer: I did not authorize that, you put the money back on my card now!

Me: It appears you haven’t paid the bill, though.

Customer: But the email says I did!

Me: We actually don’t have a payment method here to bill you from. You need to add one to the account so we can take the monthly payment.

Customer: I DID NOT AUTHORIZE YOU TO TAKE PAYMENTS!

Me: OK…the payment hasn’t been made.

Customer: Ok, because I didn’t authorize a payment.

Me: Ok…

Customer: You’re not taking a payment unless I authorize it. And I don’t.

Me: Ok… no payment has been made.

Customer: I haven’t authorized a payment! I’m going to get a lawyer!

Me: We haven’t taken a payment. We have no payment method on file to take a payment from. You have not made a payment, we have not taken a payment. But your account is now past due and a payment must be made to avoid suspension.

Customer: Well  you’re not getting a payment. You’ll get one when I say you do.

Me: Ok…

Customer: And I don’t authorize a payment.

Me: Ok…

Customer: I’ll mail a check when I feel like it.

Me: We don’t accept checks by mail.

Customer: You’ll get paid how I say you’ll get paid.

Me: Ok. That’s fine and all but we don’t accept payments by mail so you’ll still owe the balance.

Customer: I haven’t authorized a payment!!

For part one of the insanity – click here

LOKI’D!

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OK… I hereby solemnly swear to try to shut up about Loki sometime soon.

TRY I said… that’s the key word.

So, lately I’ve been cracking up at the god of mischief in this video from MTV’s After Hours –

loki’d from gorgeous anon on Vimeo.

After yelling “LOKI’D” in my husband’s face at top volume for about a day, it struck me, “Why not just play some pranks yourself, Laura?” And then myself replied, “That is the best idea you’ve had all day!”

Well, wouldn’t you know my delight when my husband handed me his phone and asked me to plug it in for him. MWAHAHA, I had an idea.

My first round of Loki’d, I decided to set a calendar alarm on his phone, to go off at 5 a.m. (The hour isn’t bad, we are usually still up at 5 a.m.) I slyly handed him his phone and told him I was going to stretch out and watch a movie in the other room. About 30 minutes later, I hear “Come here!” from the living room. Oh… I’m giggling on the inside at full volume by then.  He’s sitting there giving me that “Oh, you scamp” look, with the alert going off on his phone.

HA!

LOKI’D!

I love iPhones, it makes it easy to document my pranks!

 

Guess what he found when he closed the calendar part of his phone and went to his home screen?

LOKI’D!!!

HAHAHA Oh I do go on.

I ended my Loki pranks for the night there, and let it go. He made some mention of having to get me back now… pffftt. Whatev’s dude.

The next day he made the mistake of leaving his phone near me again.

Hahahah I’m the bad guy!

You’ve been Loki’d again! It was at that point that he threatened to poo in my food. He used those words exactly. Poo. In my food. Well, he is the one that does all the cooking around here, because when I cook it turns to some sort of hardened charcoal… I don’t want any poo in my food, so maybe I’ll ease off…. for a day or two!

It seems he got tired of being Loki’d though, and has now locked me out of his phone! The nerve! I swear!

BUT now every time he wants to use his phone he has to punch in his code and go through that extra step, and really isn’t that a win for me!? It’s like being Loki’d over and over again! HAHAHAHA LOKI’D!!!!