Living in a Tampon Commercial

Let me set the stage for you.

It’s the Saturday before Christmas. My family has come together under one roof, as we always do every Saturday before Christmas. My cousin’s and I are all range from our mid to late 20’s to early 30’s. Some of them have kids which are all under a year old to 3-4 years old in age.

In short, chaos has ensued.

Everyone’s bellies are full. The crumbs of pies and cookies still litter the table(s).

For some reason when people have kids, they like to ask those of us who don’t when we’ll be joining in their misery. I can’t remember how this particular conversation began that I’m about to regale you with, but lets just pretend it began after someone was asked for the 800th time when they will be blessing this world with a snot-nosed creature of their own.

The following is a real conversation between myself, my cousin and my sister. Also, my grandfather is Daddaddy. That’s how it came out of my mouth before I was capable of proper thought, and that is what he remains to this day.

Cousin: My periods have been irregular lately.

Daddaddy walks up behind us and hands us our Christmas cards with money, seemingly out of nowhere. Has he been a ninja all my life and I never knew?!

Cousin: And we’re not going to talk about that now.

I burst into uncontrollable giggles, the “adults” (because obviously at 28 years old I’m NOT an adult!) look at me like “what’s up with this crazy person, oh wait that’s just Laura.”

Daddaddy exists stage left, at which point I turn back to my cousin.

Me: Oh my gosh me too! That’s so weird.

My Sister: You guys should try Mirena. (a type of birth control)

That was it, that did it. I lost it, I laughed until I cried, I couldn’t breathe, my stomach hurt.

I tried several times, but failed, to say “Oh my gosh guys we just did that thing they do on commercials! It really DOES happen!”

You know the type of commerical…ladies sit around moaning about that time of the month and then decide that if they use the latest birth control/maxi pad/tampon/Midol/etc that everything will be fields of daisies on a pleasant spring afternoon.

Not sure of the type of commercial I mean? Here, take a look at this old gem I found on YouTube.

Ah, well, you know what they say. Nothing like Christmas to bring cousins and sisters together to talk about period irregularity and birth control.

TMI? Oops oh well I should have warned about that in the beginning, eh?


7 thoughts on “Living in a Tampon Commercial

  1. Ha! I always laugh when things happen that sound like you’re in a commercial with someone recommending a product. I can’t think of an example like that, but I do have a little relevant story…A while back I was at the checkout of a store paying for something. I reached into my bag to get my money out, and I pulled it out with such vigour that I flipped a tampon out of my bag, which flew quite high and did a somersault in the air – it felt like it was in slow motion, with the sales assistant and I both watching it go up, flip around and then land on the counter. We both stared at it for a few seconds before I grabbed it and shoved it back into my bag and we both carried on as if nothing had happened!

    • I can’t imagine talking like that to my mom! It was funny when I was cracking up about the convo between my cousin and sister, my mom came over and asked what was so darn funny. So I told her the conversation and how it was like a maxipad commercial or something. Mom replied “Yeah they make it look like women sit around talking about that stuff, I mean who does that?!” That had me laughing even more I just pointed and said “WE DO!!” 😀

  2. LOL. Those things do happen. A Christmas one would be amazing! They should do it in their next ad! I tend to infomercial it up over things I discover. Whether it’s tampons, dry skin cream, or migraine relieving meds. 😉

    • I’ve done that before too, jump into infomercial mode. I don’t even remember what it was but once my husband asked me if I was getting commission because I kept doing that.

  3. LOL. I love your husband’s response! My Skype buddies are accustomed to me randomly grabbing a product I’ve been using and going off on its miraculous properties. It’s instinctual. To share something that works. But it so sounds like an infomercial. 😉

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