Let me set the stage for you.
It’s the Saturday before Christmas. My family has come together under one roof, as we always do every Saturday before Christmas. My cousin’s and I are all range from our mid to late 20’s to early 30’s. Some of them have kids which are all under a year old to 3-4 years old in age.
In short, chaos has ensued.
Everyone’s bellies are full. The crumbs of pies and cookies still litter the table(s).
For some reason when people have kids, they like to ask those of us who don’t when we’ll be joining in their misery. I can’t remember how this particular conversation began that I’m about to regale you with, but lets just pretend it began after someone was asked for the 800th time when they will be blessing this world with a snot-nosed creature of their own.
The following is a real conversation between myself, my cousin and my sister. Also, my grandfather is Daddaddy. That’s how it came out of my mouth before I was capable of proper thought, and that is what he remains to this day.
Cousin: My periods have been irregular lately.
Daddaddy walks up behind us and hands us our Christmas cards with money, seemingly out of nowhere. Has he been a ninja all my life and I never knew?!
Cousin: And we’re not going to talk about that now.
I burst into uncontrollable giggles, the “adults” (because obviously at 28 years old I’m NOT an adult!) look at me like “what’s up with this crazy person, oh wait that’s just Laura.”
Daddaddy exists stage left, at which point I turn back to my cousin.
Me: Oh my gosh me too! That’s so weird.
My Sister: You guys should try Mirena. (a type of birth control)
That was it, that did it. I lost it, I laughed until I cried, I couldn’t breathe, my stomach hurt.
I tried several times, but failed, to say “Oh my gosh guys we just did that thing they do on commercials! It really DOES happen!”
You know the type of commerical…ladies sit around moaning about that time of the month and then decide that if they use the latest birth control/maxi pad/tampon/Midol/etc that everything will be fields of daisies on a pleasant spring afternoon.
Not sure of the type of commercial I mean? Here, take a look at this old gem I found on YouTube.
Ah, well, you know what they say. Nothing like Christmas to bring cousins and sisters together to talk about period irregularity and birth control.
TMI? Oops oh well I should have warned about that in the beginning, eh?