Me: Thank you for calling *Name of company omitted so I’m not destroyed by the wrath of HQ*, my name is Laura, may I please have the phone number associated with the account?
Customer: *In a super fast manner that not even the Flash could decipher* 123456789 OR it could be 987654321 (Actual phone number may vary)
Me: I’m sorry, could you please say the first number again, I don’t think I got it all.
Customer: *In a super slow, super loud, super exasperated tone* 1….2…..3……4…….5…..6 SIGH 7…..8…..9…..
Me: Thank you, what can I do for you tonight?
Customer: I can’t connect to the internet.
Me: I’m so sorry that you are having trouble, would you be able to please unplug the modem for me?
Customer: *Yelling* I have to put the phone down.
Me: Ok.
Customer *Walks away* *Picks the phone back up* I can’t find the plug what is it? (I describe the plug) *Walks away* *Picks phone back up* I still can’t find the plug…. (this went on 2 – 3 more times.)
Call was disconnected.
I call them back. Husband Answers.
Husband: Ok I unplugged it and it still won’t connect.
Call was disconnected.
I call them back. Husband Answers.
Me: Ok I’m sorry about that, could you make sure the cords are tight?
Call was disconnected.
I call them back. Customer answers.
Me: Hello, I’m sorry that the call was disconnected.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
Me: Hello, are you able to hear me?
Customer: YES I CAN HEAR YOU, YES I CAN HEAR YOU. I CAN HEAR YOU. I CAN HEAR YOU SPEAK I CAN HEAR YOU. I CANĀ HEAR YOU YES YOU HAVE GOT TO SPEAK I CAN HEAR YOU I CAN HEAR YOU I CAN HEAR YOU I CAN HEAR YOU I CAN HEAR YOU I CAN HEAR YOU I CAN HEAR YOU FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SPEAK I CAN HEAR YOU.
(It’s kind of hard to speak with you yelling… but I didn’t say that)
Me: Ok it looks like we need to set up for a tech to come to your house and take a look at your equipment.
Customer: GET ME YOUR SUPERVISOR.
Me: I am the supervisor.
Customer: I DON’T CARE GET ME WHOEVER IS ABOVE YOU.
….Okie Dokie….