Game Over Man, Game Over!

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Ok Ghouls and Goblins. I’m back for another round of my favorite horror films.

Previously I talked about my favorite childhood horror films – which are still favorite films into my adulthood. But now that I’m “grown-up” I’ve discovered a new set of hauntingly good horror.

I can’t choose an order, though, so without further ado here are my favorite horror films.

Hellraiser

This movie is based on Clive Barker’s novella The Hellbound Heart – which is a must read for any fan of horror. Pinhead is probably the most terrifying franchise movie villain to me (you know, out of Jason, Freddy, Chucky, etc..)

The Devil’s Rejects

This Rob Zombie flick is probably one of my favorite movies ever, horror or otherwise. The main characters have no redeeming qualities about them, and the ending is just epic. If you want to see the ending – go here. It is probably in my top 5 favorite movie endings of all time.

Cabin in the Woods

This is, of course, a newer film by Joss Whedon. I love it because Thor is in it, I mean Chris Hemsworth…I mean that’s not why I love it, it’s a great story! It looks like the standard dumb teenagers go camping movie, but it’s definitely got some interesting twists!

Saw

What I love about Saw is the fact that it was almost never-ending. When I was a kid i loved that there were a ton of Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers, Pinhead, etc films and Saw brought that type of franchise back, and with the exception of a few of those films (the last one.. UGH) they were really good.

Alien/Aliens

I don’t have anything wrong with any of the Alien franchise, but I think the first two are my favorite. I’d even go as far as to say I prefer the second. All because of Bill Paxton. “We’re in some real pretty shit now, man!”

Honestly, it’s hard for me to not like a horror film. I think that’s the good thing about the genre. The ones that are made well are amazing, the ones that flop turn into comedy hour. I find it just as fun to make fun of a bad horror as I do enjoying a good one.

I always find it a little sad when October is over – it does mean loads of turkey around the corner, but the weeks leading up to Halloween are always so much fun. I hope everyone had a great Halloween!

Horrific Life Lessons

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Last night my best friend of 12 years, Monica, and I had a girls night in. These are rare, as she is proud single mom to a 2-year-old and a 5-year-old. She’s definitely that one person that I can sit in a room and not speak for an hour and never feel uncomfortable – you know what I mean? Anyway, yesterday we suddenly found ourselves sans kids and at Wal-Mart at 10 o’clock at night buying toilet paper and coffee – because that’s what people who are 28 going on 80 do on a Saturday night! But honestly, that’s ok with me because the two of us can come up with our own fun – it doesn’t have to be going out to dinner or going to the bar (that was Thursday night!)

Inspiration struck and we found ourselves perusing ye olde RedBox for something…anything! We flipped through the pages to uninspired “Oh I’ve seen that” and “Hmm heard that was alright…” — then we saw our film. The one we knew we’d have the best time watching.

Madison County

Now I’m not going to bash this film for two reasons – 1. I enjoyed the time I had watching the movie. 2. It was sort of apparent that this was a low-budget independent group effort, and I love the people who make low-budget independent group efforts. I hope to be one of “them” someday. It was a little Hills Have Eyes meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre…but from what I can tell the filmmaker was going for that, so kudos to him – he succeeded.

What I am going to do, however, is share with you the list of life lessons Monica and I compiled while watching the characters of this movie.

So without further ado:

Life Lessons Learned from Madison County

1. No matter how bad you have to pee, freaking hold it until you find a gas station. If you legitimately have no other option then you’re driving in the wrong part of the country and will surly end up dead if you exit your car.

2. If you drive through a town that only has 1 gas station/restaurant combo, just keep driving. Hit up the next town and go on with your life.

3. If you and your friends find yourselves outside a creepy house that you had to hop a fence to get to, but no one is home so you decide to go back to “town” to ask more questions… GO AS A GROUP. One person doesn’t need to go back to town alone with the only car, you’re just asking to be murdered!

4. If you are alone in a cemetery and hear someone giggling, DO NOT under any circumstance investigate it. Get the hell out of the cemetery!

5. If you didn’t listen to life lesson 4 (idiot) and find the source of random cemetery giggling to be two scantily clad women who for some reason won’t acknowledge you, even though you keep following them shouting “Hey!!” – DO NOT continue to follow them. It’s a trap, I repeat, it’s a trap!

6. If you’re being a complete idiot and are still following the girls giggling in the cemetery and you find that they’ve jumped into a lake with their tops off, DO NOT join them — again, it’s a trap and you WILL be murdered.

7. If you’re in a creepy area and one of your friends wandered off like an idiot and you start to wonder about his whereabouts, just stick together as a group if you decide to go looking, DO NOT break off into subgroups.

8. If you’re with one other person and suddenly decide something is very important at the road that you need to run off and resolve, DO NOT leave that person alone, just take them with you. If you’re alone in the creepy country town with only one gas station/restaurant combo being ran by a creepy old lady, then you’re just asking to be murdered!!

9. If your friend sacrifices him or herself for you because there is a bad guy right behind you – DO NOT just continue to sit there crying like a tool. Either A. Go help your friend who now has the bad guy after them, or B. Run away to get help.

10. If your friend is murdered by some crazed killer mere feet from you, when the bad guy decides to wander off DO NOT go investigate your friend. RUN AWAY. They are dead, there’s nothing you can do now except get your ass out of there.

11. If you and a friend are being stalked down by a killer, do not hobble off holding onto each other. You’re not injured right now but you WILL be if you continue to hinder fast movement by hugging and walking at the same time. It’s idiotic. Get your ass in gear and MOVE!

12. If you find yourself with the upper hand against a crazed killer, DO NOT hit him once and then run. In a situation like this just think of the killer as a zombie or a vampire, they aren’t dead until their head has been chopped off!

13. If you didn’t listen to life lesson 12 and only hit the killer once and ran, then listen to life lesson 13 for crying out loud! If the bad guy is after you again because you were an idiot the first go around, and you manage to knock him or her down for a second time, for the love of all that is good in this world MAKE SURE THE MONSTER IS DEAD!

There you have it, life lessons all should live by. If you don’t, then you deserve to die!

Movie Confessions Blogathon

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I read this post over at the awesome Kloipy Speaks who found it from someone who found it from someone who found it from someone who found it on myfilmviews.com. And thus, after much begetting, I have now decided to take it upon myself to join in the fun.

Which classic movie don’t you like/can’t enjoy and why?

Apocalypse Now. Maybe I need to give this movie another go. There was this one time in between my junior and senior year of high school, where we had to read Beowulf, and it pissed me off! How dare they assign homework over summer vacation! I begrudgingly read the darn thing, hating every word of it. Two years later during my sophomore year of college, we had to read Beowulf. I don’t know if it was the fact that I’d matured a little (yeah right) or it wasn’t summer vacation so I was more open to reading confusing texts, whatever it was – I loved it! Beowulf is a freaking awesome story! Anyway, I think that’s similar to what happened with Apocalypse Now. I wasn’t a big fan of the book (and maybe I should give it another go, I may love it and just not realize it), and so when we had to watch the movie in AP English IV in high school…I just wouldn’t let myself like it.

Which ten classic movies haven’t you seen yet?

I’m sure tons upon tons! It’s hard to think of movies you’ve not seen though… hmm…So I went to Rotten Tomatoes and found a list of 100 greatest classics, and copied the first 10 I came to.

  • Rear Window
  • Dr. Strangelove Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
  • North by Northwest
  • The Third Man
  • All About Eve
  • Laura
  • Modern Times
  • Repulsion
  • Cool Hand Luke (The Gilmore girls would be so dissapointed in me!)
  • Rebecca

Hm… Mom do you have something going on with classic films here? My name is Laura and my 8 year old sister is Rebecca… Is there a classic out there named Kelly?

Have you ever sneaked into another movie at the cinema?

Yes. I don’t remember what we were seeing but I was at the movies with my best friend Monica and I think we weren’t impressed so we went to a different theater that was playing 10 Things I Hate About You. To be fair we did purchase a movie ticket, we just didn’t like the movie we went to see originally.

Which actor/actress do you think is overrated?

Actor: Matthew McConaughey. Does he own a shirt? I know, I know, I’m supposed to be swooning at his feet….but really? Pass.

Actress: Zooey Deschanel. I mean, she’s alright, I don’t hate her. I don’t shoot myself at the site of having to watch a movie with her in it. BUT, she plays the same person every time. Hipster quircky blah blah blah.

From which big director have you never seen any movie (and why)?

Billy Wilder. It’s not like I’m avoiding the films, I just haven’t gotten around to seeing any of them for one reason or another.

Which movie do you love, but is generally hated?

Twilight. Does that count? Don’t judge me!

Have you ever been “one of those annoying people” at the cinema?

I’m sure. When I was a teenager. All teenagers are annoying, yes? Yes. Actually I was an OK teenager, I just had fits of loud uncontrollable giggles.

Did you ever watch a movie, which you knew in advance would be bad, just because of a specific actor/actress was in it? Which one and why?

I was having a hard time thinking of one for this, so I asked my husband because he remembers things about me more than I do. He said we went to see this movie named Twisted in 2004 because Sam Jackson was in it. Now… I don’t remember this at all, so the husband pulls up a trailer for me to watch. I watched the trailer, I still didn’t remember it, and about halfway through I checked out of the trailer because it looked so boring. So, I’m just going to have to trust the hubby on this one that we actually saw this movie. I’m going to say I don’t remember it because it was so boring. It’s either that or I’ve developed dementia early on in life.

Did you ever not watch a specific movie because it had subtitles? 

I won’t if I’ll be laying in bed while I’m watching the movie, unless I know I’ll be awake and able to watch the screen the whole time. I don’t mind subtitles, I just want to actually be able to see them good.

Are there any movies in your collection that you have had for more than five years and never watched?

Ultra Violet. I don’t know why I haven’t watched it. There’s a video store in town that has amazing deals on their rental movies, and they sometimes sell them for $1. So my husband and I end up with tons of movies that sit on the shelf for months or years before we watch them.

Which are the worst movies in your collection and why do you still own them?

Well, we did own this movie called The Edison Death Machine… which is just terrible. It was actually stolen when the ole hubby and I took our honeymoon trip to Vegas two summers ago. We were robbed, but had it not been for that we’d still own the movie. You know, I love me a good cheesy B-movie made on a dime budget, but that movie is just…terrible. There is no other word other than terrible. I hope whoever stole it was forced to watch it and nothing else for a week straight. That might make up for the Play Station 3  they got!

Do you have any confessions about your movie watching setup at home?

Nothing strange here. If we’re in the living room we watch on the TV with either the XBox or the PS3. If we are in the bedroom we watch movies off the iMac, mostly from Netflix.

Any other confessions you want to make?

I watched things at the age of 6 that no 6 year old should ever be watching. Freddy Krueger, Night of the Living Dead, Tales From the Crypt

Oh, I have a confession. I hated Harry Potter before I saw it. I was a full on hater drinking on my hateraide. Then…I watched it. And I dumped all my hateraide down the toilet and begged the Wizengamot to forgive me! They did, luckily, and so Neville Longbottom and I live happily ever after.

Tune-Yards…Tune-Awesome!

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I had myself a nice long 4-day weekend, book-ended by two face meltingly awesome concerts. “Meltingly” isn’t a word…but, you know, if President Harding can make up words like “normalcy”, I can make up words like “meltingly”!

I saw my cousin Merrill, aka Tune-Yards, perform Sunday night in a sold out show! It was…well…face meltingly awesome!

Someone yelled, “That dress is hot!” I have to agree, I loved the dress!

I’ve seen Tune-Yards three times now. I can say with certainty that watching her on stage is never a bore. Her music is interesting. Some folks think it’s strange and I have to admit the first time I listened I thought, “What is this? I don’t know but I need to listen again…and again…and again…and again…”  I read a review online once, and I’m sorry I can’t remember where, but the reviewer said something like listen to Tune-Yards a second, and a third, and a fourth time and it will start to sound like music that comes on the radio – like there is nothing strange about it at all.

She loops her voice and drum tracks and plays them over herself live and creates…MAGIC!

Nate – Merrill’s boyfriend and bass player! He has soft hands!

The crowd was enthusiastic – and cram packed since the show was sold out. It was also easy to hear people talk in there, and at one point Merrill asked who had traveled the farthest to see the show. For a minute or so people yelled out their hometowns. Right when it got quiet my uncle yelled out the name of her mom (and my grandpa’s) hometown – and she heard that, because he was loud! She replied “Yeah, I’ve got some family there. I guess that’s where I get my big mouth. Or I should say, my spirit. Thank you cousins!” And our group (especially me) went wild! It was cool.

My mom, Me, my cousin GT, my sister Becca and…drum roll please…the awesome Merrill!!!!

Back in October I went to a corn maze, and there was a guy there selling kettle corn. I have a Tune-Yards bag that I carry around with me like a purse, and the kettle corn guy yelled, “You do not have a Tune-Yards bag!” So I went over to him and we talked for a few minutes about Tune-Yards (of course I had to beam with pride that she’s my cousin to him!!) Well, last night we were standing in the crowd waiting for the show to start when this guy pecks me on the shoulder, “Excuse me, are you related to Merrill?”

I’m thinking in my head, well she’s my first cousin once removed (she’s my mom’s first cousin), we all have the same nose in this family but I don’t think Merrill and I particularly look like each other. I said yes, and asked how he knew that. It was the kettle corn guy! We were in a completely different state from the corn maze and standing right next to each other at this concert. Small and crazy world!

My baby sister Becca got to meet Merrill for the first time, she was over the moon excited. Also, my friend’s son is a zombie. Watch your brains around him!

Merrill’s voice is incredible. She can scream, she can whisper, she can sing high and low and in between and no matter what it sounds good. Oh have I mentioned that Time Magazine and Rolling Stone included her album w h o k i l l in the top albums of 2011? So epic.

She recently killed it at the Bonnaroo festival, and will kill it at Lollapalooza. My words will never be able to do her justice, but if you ever get a chance to see her live I say do so! It’s not like anything you’ve ever seen.

Here’s a video of her doing the song “Powa” from w h o k i l l at the Coachella festival this past April. This is one of my favorite songs. I love at the end there’s almost a choir of voices, and it’s all the loops she recorded of herself at the beginning of the song. She’s just too awesome for me to put into words.

She’s been on Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon, she’s been in Spin, Time, Rolling Stone, The New Yorker, etc…. I can’t be more blown away by how awesome she is. And she told me last night I was the #1 Tune-Yards fan! You always hear people say they are a band’s number 1 fan….well I got confirmation straight from the band’s mouth last night so take that world!

Red Hot Chili Peppers live 06/07/2012

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I was 15 years old, spread out on my bed watching the small TV set that sat on my bedside table. MTV was on. This, of course, was back when MTV actually still played music. Sometime during a commercial break, an ad came on for a Foo Fighters and Red Hot Chili Peppers tour. I immediately ran into the living room to announce to my mom what I wanted for my 16th birthday – tickets to that show! I remember this moment with more clarity than I remember what I had for lunch yesterday.

At the time I was a big fan of Foo Fighters (and I still am), but just a casual fan of the Chili Peppers. I knew their radio hits, and that was it. To prepare for the show, which was still a couple of months away, I borrowed my friend’s Californication CD and recorded it onto a cassette tape (I suddenly feel like I’m aging myself by saying that….) Suddenly, I couldn’t get enough Red Hot Chili Peppers in my life.

By the time the concert came, I was a rabid fan of the Chili Peppers. My bedroom was decorated in their paraphernalia. I even had real dried red hot chili peppers hanging from the ceiling. My seats at the concert were nose-bleed… if memory serves me correct I was around 5 rows from the very top. Needless to say I couldn’t see shit. But I could hear it, and I could feel it. I just remember thinking to myself, “My God, that thumping in my belly is coming from Flea!” I was in a new world. My step-dad, who took me, said he kept looking at me and I was just smiling the whole time from ear to ear, and I don’t doubt it.

Luckily, their Californication tour was a big one! Five or six months later, they played another show within a 3 hours radius of me. When you live in small-town Kentucky that’s how you have to go to concerts, anything within 3 hours is game. Knoxville, Louisville, Lexington, Cincinnati, Columbus if the band warrants it…It didn’t’ matter to me, I was 16 and had a chance to see my Chili Peppers again! That time, I actually got seats where I could SEE them. I don’t do drugs, never have and never will, but I can say with certainty that on that night I was high on the Red Hot Chili Peppers!

Fast forward to when I was around 23 or so, nervously sitting in a tattoo shop getting the Chili Pepper’s asterisk logo tattooed onto my body for all of time. I think I’ve painted the picture of how big a fan I am of these guys.

Last night when they came on stage I cried.

The view from my far-off seat

I’m in the middle of a huge almost sold-out arena and a rock concert is blaring in front of me, and I’m crying. I haven’t seen them live since that second show from the Californication tour when I was 16. When they ran on stage last night I just kept thinking, that’s them! They are really there, and I am really here. These crazy men that I’ve formed some sort of insane emotional bond to are in front of me. Life has changed so dramatically from that afternoon when I was 15 years old and saw that tour commercial on MTV (I’m now 28 for anyone who’s counting).

I tried to explain it to my husband last night, why I cried when they first hit the stage. I don’t know if I ever explained it to him in a way that made sense, and I don’t know if I could explain it to you either. I mean, I love some bands out there, Muse for one that I’m almost as rabid about as I am the peppers…but there is just something about the chili peppers that means so much to me.

They define what I was as a 15 and 16-year-old – a weird shy quiet little girl from the coal country of Kentucky. They were with me when I was 19 and living with a stranger in the dorm rooms. They held my hand as I nervously asked a strange man to stab needles into my flesh until their symbol was a part of me. They gave me a nod of approval when I made my decision to transfer colleges to study film. They hugged me when my granny died. I wanted them to be there with me at my wedding, but the church wasn’t a fan of secular music…but it’s OK, they were there in spirit! They make me smile when I’m happy, they make me feel better when I’m sad. I don’t know if everyone out there has that ONE band. THE band. THE ONE that no matter what just sits on a level in your heart above all the others. If you do, I trust you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t, you’re my husband…an old curmudgeon! (I love you Woo! :D)

They were perfect last night. My seats were crappy (and I ordered them on a radio pre-sell!)  But it didn’t matter. They were there in front of me, and that thump that I felt in my belly was coming from Flea. That is all that matters.

My best friend, 8-year-old sister Becca and I tried to stalk the band when the show was over. I saw Anthony’s bus drive by. People pointed at one and said it was Chad, but I didn’t see him. Josh’s bus went by as well, but I didn’t see him either. There was one bus left and we kept hope that Flea was in there…and that he’d come out and at least wave to the 7 people that were insane enough to be standing outside an arena at 1 in the morning for a chance to just glance him, but there was no such luck. Oh well, we tried and it was fun to dream!

Here’s hoping it’s not another 12 years before I get to see them again.

The god of my Heart

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Um…hi? *knock knock knock* Is this thing on?

So I’ve been silent for about a month now, I wanted to apologize for that. I know it’s in bad blogger form. My husband keeps telling me I “need to cheesecake”, and I know  he’s right. He goes about a month in between posts though, so I don’t know who he thinks he is telling me I need better blogger form. Harumph!

What’s been going on in my life for the past month that merits a chuckle-worthy blog post you ask? Not a whole lot really, hence the silence. I don’t know, I’ve not been particularly amused or horrified of anything lately.

But what I have found…is a new husband! Yep that’s right you heard it here first folks, in a month’s time I’ve divorced Woo and hitched up with a new man.

He’s a pretty powerful guy. Actually, he wants to rule the world, and how could a girl not love that. He’s got these awesomely beautiful blue eyes and a really cool staff. Not like he employes a staff, but  you know… a big stick thingy? Oh and his smile is absolutely swoon-worthy.

I know I’ve found my mate for life. Dear readers, I must admit I’m one happy girl to have found this love.

I’ve got a few of the wedding pics back, and I thought I’d share them here with you all.

Just mere moments after the big “I do”, isn’t he a dream boat?

I know he’s thinking “I couldn’t be happier…except if my plot to rule Earth had actually gone as planned.”

Unfortunately, my husband’s brother Thor has taken him back to Asgard because he’s a “bad guy”. Gah my brother-in-law can be such a hot head! I mean, Thor went all crashing into Jotunheim and pissing off a bunch of frost giants and putting the welfare of Asgard in danger. But nooooooo everyone’s all “Thor’s the greatest look at his awesome blonde locks he can do no harm..” yadda yadda, bull crap I say.

My husband Loki is just misunderstood. I mean, as a baby he was torn from his birth father and raised next to the mighty Thor, but had no hope of ever becoming the King of Asgard. So he may be a little mischievous… everyone wants to have a little fun now and then, do they not?

Ah Loki, I dream of the day you’ll be back in my arms again…

How could a girl not fall for a man with such an awesome helmet?

Hulk Smash

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I’m not extremely well-versed in comic books – their heroes, villains, story-lines… But for the most part I do enjoy the movies they generate.

All I have to say is The Avengers was freaking bad-ass awesome! It was just a fun movie to watch, and a great way to escape the drone of every day life. Plus, it didn’t hurt that it had some pretty men in it! (and Scarlett Johansson for the fella’s out there.)

I really enjoyed Mark Ruffalo’s take on Bruce Banner/ The Hulk. As much as I love Edward Norton, I think Ruffalo probably did the character a little better service than Norton did in his 2008 role as the green guy. Some of the funnier moments in the movie come from the Hulk scenes. There was a part where the entire theater was cracking up so loud at the Hulk that none of my group could even hear what was being said on screen. So basically, Hulk rules!

Of course, the rest of the Avengers were awesome as well. Personally, I think one can never go wrong with Robert Downey Jr. I cannot imagine another person in the role of Iron Man! He’s just perfect for the role, and the banter between Iron Man and the rest of the cast is always hilarious. I like a movie that can have its serious moments, its action and explosions and grave dangers… but then also a good chuckle here and there. I think that’s the signature clue of Joss Whedon’s writing. (By the way, The Cabin in the Woods, also written by Joss Whedon…epic and must be seen by all! Is it also starring Chris Hemsworth, who played Thor in The Avengers. Win!)

I am not going to get into each of the other characters but they were all great in their own ways.  For some reason, I can’t stop staring at the film’s baddie, Loki, played by Tom Hiddleston. I don’t even know if I have some crazy fan-girl crush on him or not at this point…. I just like his face? I can’t explain it. All I know is that he’s on my can of Dr. Pepper so now I must drink more Dr. Pepper. Damn you advertising for getting to me! Damn you!

Moral of the story is, I’d go watch it again. I’d go watch it right now…if it weren’t 4 in the morning that is.

Here’s the trailer for the movie:

As someone who may not “get” everything there is about comic books and superheroes, I really recommend this movie for everyone! Not to mention it destroyed Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 for the spot of #1 U.S. opening weekend of all time! I give it 10 slices of cheesecake up!