Just Ramblin’

8

I don’t know what it is, but the past 6 months, maybe even longer, I’ve just felt uninspired. Even to the point of not really reading books as much as I used to. I haven’t finished a novel since moving in September. That’s scandalous!

My theory is that my work schedule has changed. I work at the computer for 10 hours a day, 4 days a week. So when I’m not at my computer, I don’t want to look at it at all! I haven’t even played WoW (yeah yeah nerd alert I get it!). My point to all this is, I’m here, I’m just uninspired. I haven’t done much writing, much reading, not even researching odd ball things that I usually like to waste time on. I don’t know what’s wrong with me!

I’m trying to pull myself out of this unimaginative uninspired rut that I’m in, I really am. It’s funny, this time last year I really felt fulfilled when I was writing, blogging, reading, etc. But my life then was in a sense in shambles. (Not my marriage or my job, just my life) My life today isn’t in much better shape, but my surroundings are so in a sense I’m happier. But I’m not feeling as fulfilled. Does that make any sense whatsoever?

I know the simple solution you’re all thinking. “Durrr Laura just sit down with a pen and paper and write something. Grab your book and read.” I tell myself that all the time, then I manage to wander off and do something else….which is….? I don’t even know. Watch TV is that what I spend my free time on? Probably. I do love television, I majored in it for Christ’s sake.

Ok well this got really rambly and pointless. I will try to make more of a point next time. I’m thinking of focusing my blog on more of one topic and less of a mishmash. Not sure what though. Movie reviews? Book reviews? (that’d be easier if I’d actually read, right?) A blog about my cat? I don’t know. I just don’t know! Ok.

In other news, I’ve joined the local YMCA and now go swimming at least 3-4 times a week in an attempt to not have my own orbit from being so big.

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Living in a Tampon Commercial

7

Let me set the stage for you.

It’s the Saturday before Christmas. My family has come together under one roof, as we always do every Saturday before Christmas. My cousin’s and I are all range from our mid to late 20’s to early 30’s. Some of them have kids which are all under a year old to 3-4 years old in age.

In short, chaos has ensued.

Everyone’s bellies are full. The crumbs of pies and cookies still litter the table(s).

For some reason when people have kids, they like to ask those of us who don’t when we’ll be joining in their misery. I can’t remember how this particular conversation began that I’m about to regale you with, but lets just pretend it began after someone was asked for the 800th time when they will be blessing this world with a snot-nosed creature of their own.

The following is a real conversation between myself, my cousin and my sister. Also, my grandfather is Daddaddy. That’s how it came out of my mouth before I was capable of proper thought, and that is what he remains to this day.

Cousin: My periods have been irregular lately.

Daddaddy walks up behind us and hands us our Christmas cards with money, seemingly out of nowhere. Has he been a ninja all my life and I never knew?!

Cousin: And we’re not going to talk about that now.

I burst into uncontrollable giggles, the “adults” (because obviously at 28 years old I’m NOT an adult!) look at me like “what’s up with this crazy person, oh wait that’s just Laura.”

Daddaddy exists stage left, at which point I turn back to my cousin.

Me: Oh my gosh me too! That’s so weird.

My Sister: You guys should try Mirena. (a type of birth control)

That was it, that did it. I lost it, I laughed until I cried, I couldn’t breathe, my stomach hurt.

I tried several times, but failed, to say “Oh my gosh guys we just did that thing they do on commercials! It really DOES happen!”

You know the type of commerical…ladies sit around moaning about that time of the month and then decide that if they use the latest birth control/maxi pad/tampon/Midol/etc that everything will be fields of daisies on a pleasant spring afternoon.

Not sure of the type of commercial I mean? Here, take a look at this old gem I found on YouTube.

Ah, well, you know what they say. Nothing like Christmas to bring cousins and sisters together to talk about period irregularity and birth control.

TMI? Oops oh well I should have warned about that in the beginning, eh?

Movin’ on up

8

Ah, erm..hello there!

So sorry for my absence! Let me explain…my husband and I have been moving. I’ve mentioned before that we lived in the ghetto part of town and, well, after there was a brawl in the street and a domestic dispute on top of our recycling within days of each other, we decided it was time to get our asses out of there. So that took a lot of my free time up, looking for a new apartment, and then packing, and then moving….oh dear lord the moving.

The actual move itself was slated to begin last Friday, the 21st, which naturally did not happen. Moving itself isn’t an interesting topic per se, but the insanity that accompanied our move had me shaking my head more than once.

I won’t get into too many details with my rant, but over the entire weekend everyone at AT&T and UPS lost their blasted minds, to the point that I managed to get a migraine after the literal hours I spent talking to them on the phone.

Frustrated with packing, frustrated with moving, frustrated with AT&T, I opened my mail box  last Saturday morning to find my new check book with the updated address on it. And wouldn’t you know, I have a new last name!

I’m Mrs. Wpp!

Sigh…this what I get for trying to live in a better place.

Moving frustrations aside, my husband and I are loving our new place. There’s no carpet anywhere, which had me sold the second I found that out. The cats still don’t know what to think. The first night here they wouldn’t come out from behind the laundry room door. I’m still not used to the sounds of this place, all the squeaks and bumps and thumps that you learn to tune out overtime still freak me out.

Moving has been strange, though. My husband and I had been really unhappy in our old place…it had a bad vibe to it lately, if that makes any sense. Like the apartment itself had a personality. Definitely a different place than the one I moved into 7 years ago. I’ve realized, I lived at that apartment longer than I have anywhere in my entire life, which is insane! I moved in there when I was alone and working as a manager at McDonald’s. I got my two kitties while I lived there, my husband moved in and 3 years later we got married. We lost his mother and grandmother, and two of my grandparents while we lived there. We’ve had birthdays and parties. I lost the ability to go to school any longer, he decided to go back to college. We started jobs, quit jobs. I started this blog there, I remember it well. I had the laptop in bed because I couldn’t sleep. It was kind of cold outside and it was just one of those nights where I felt like I was going crazy inside my own head, so I decided to blog instead! It was probably 5 a.m., I poked my husband, “Give me a title!”. He had no idea what I was talking about of course, because prior to my poking him, he was snoring. Cheesecake Summer, he said. It was nonsensical enough to be perfect.

As much as I hated that apartment, especially this last year or two, it’s still strange to leave it behind. It’s strange to think someone will come after us, and cook on that stove, sleep in my room, shower in my shower….and I suppose I have to be fair, as I’m currently in a room someone else used to claim as their own.

Ah, well…. all in the life of one Laura S. Wpp.

Stop and Look Up

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I noticed my last two posts were a bit on the grumpy side. I blame the heat! It has been in the mid-80’s all week and I am MELTING (I can’t make the word “melting” any stronger!) I work at home at a call center, and that means that my area has to be quiet. Since I live with two insane cats who do nothing but make my life hard, and a crazy man who yells at video games all day, I have to leave the door shut. This closes me off from… roughly all cool air. Add three computer’s to the mix and you’ve got one super toasty me. No joke, I had a chocolate chip cookie in here from yesterday that I didn’t eat, I went to pick it up today and the chips had melted!

The AC is on, it’s just trying to destroy me. I really really REALLY dread summer!

ANYWAY, I got off on another rant that I didn’t mean to. I noticed that I had been grumpy for a few days and when I get grumpy I like to look to the sky. It makes me feel like no matter what is going on in my head or in my life that in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter. I don’t know if that is a good feeling or a bad feeling, now that I think about it.

I saw the evening sky the other day and it really struck me.

This was just before the sun set. I love how near the horizon the sky is light and clouds are dark, but then the sky transitions to a deeper blue and lighter clouds.

I love when I can look up at the sky and see something beautiful like this. Thinking of the world, the solar system, the universe… it all makes my silly problems seem not so bad. Maybe instead of stopping to smell the roses, we should all stop and just look up.

Get Off My Lawn!

8

I love going out with my husband – to dinner, to the coffee shop, to the movies, even to the grocery store. I don’t really care what it is we are doing, I always enjoy it.

Until the teenagers show up. Now now, I know, a lot of teenagers are OK. And sure I’m not that old, and was once a teenager myself so I have to understand where they are coming from, right? No, no. I do not understand or empathize with these miscreants.

It was a very pleasant night out tonight, around 70 degrees or so. We sat outside our favorite coffee shop, pleasantly minding our own business when these two boys decide to ruin the collective IQ around them just by existing. One of them exclaimed something like “I wouldn’t be smoking if I had some chaw”. (Chaw is chewing tobacco, yum…) Yeah you’re real cool smoking and chewing, the ladies must just eat you up!

Fine, whatever, smoke your cigarettes so the girls will swoon over you. But then they sat at one of the metal tables with the holes in it… you know like this:

This boy proceeded to smoke (like a champ) and spit non stop THROUGH the holes in the table. It was literally every second, smoke, spit, smoke, spit, speak, spit, spit, spit, smoke, spit, speak, spit. Spit. Spit. Spit. It was disgusting.

He tried to impress the girls behind him by talking about how some particular girl that I assume they all knew tried to “f*** him”, and then he smoked and spat some more. Thankfully the girls had enough intelligence not to fall for the idiot.

I wanted to stalk the boy until his mommy picked him up just so I could yell at her for letting him out into society, dumbing down the world around him one breath at a time.

I’m starting to feel old. GET OFF MY DAMN LAWN!

Louie Louie

3

I forgot what my husband’s name was yesterday. My dad asked me how David was doing, and my reply was, “Who’s David?”

Well…ya-see I call him Woo, his last name. “Wait, isn’t that your last name too?” Why yes, yes it is. But for the 5 years we dated before we got married, it wasn’t my last name.

I was introduced to this weird guy named Woo way back in the day and for months I just thought that was his first name. By the time I realized it was his last name, well it was just too late wasn’t it? He was Woo to me.

Then I got to thinking, there are a lot of nicknames in my family. Most of my family call me Louie. The “Louie” nickname comes in many forms – Lou, Lou-Bell, Lou-Jack, Louie… That’s why most of my online names have the word Lou in it somewhere. I know one thing, it’d be awful strange to hear mom or my sisters call me Laura.

I have an aunt I call Rascal (yes, proper noun for her!) Her name is Anne, and according to legend she used to call me a little rascal, so I’d just flip it back on her and call her Rascal right back! I don’t remember this back and forth, that must have been before my brain cooled. And I honestly don’t even know at what point in my life I realized Anne was her name, not Rascal. It doesn’t matter, to me she will always and forever be Rascal.

It’s funny how these nicknames form and stick. It doesn’t matter how old I get, I’ll always be Louie or Lou to many near and dear family members. My husband will always be Woo to me, even though my last name is Woo too… it doesn’t matter. Oh, and you better believe people sure love to call me Lou Woo!

What’s strange though, is I always feel awkward signing my name “Louie” on gifts or cards. If I give a Christmas gift to my sister I feel I should sign it Louie because that’s more my name to her than Laura is. For some reason I don’t feel I have the right to call myself Louie though.

Does anyone else have fun nicknames?

Paperclip Award!

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What a great way to start a Sunday, which is the “Monday” of my work week so I don’t usually wake up on Sunday’s with a cheery disposition! Lovely Limebird Beth of the Limebird Writers has nominated me for the Paperclip Award! Huzzah!

The award comes with some questions for me to answer. Here goes!

1. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I went through a period of wanting to be an astronaut, because I loved studying the solar system. And using the new term I learned from Limebird Beth today… I realized I was pretty pants at science so there went that idea. Then I wanted to be a rock star but I’m super shy so scratch that (plus I never really learned to play any instrument). Then around my Junior year of high school I realized what I really loved was film and that was that!

2. What is your ultimate favorite place to be?

I’m not sure I have a favorite place. I don’t have a big tree I like to sit under, or person’s house I like to visit often. I mean, I like being with the husband wherever he is, and we have a date night each week and that’s usually my favorite night of the week, wherever it is we are going.

We go to  a convention every year in downtown Indianapolis, Indiana. It’s a nerd convention that he always has a lot of fun with, signing up for nerd games and stuff. I just have fun tagging along and being in a “big” city for a few days eating at different restaurants and meeting different people. I don’t know if that is my “favorite” place to be, but I look forward to it a lot, just having a chance to get out of town for a few days a week.

Plus we get to meet the awesome Lloyd Kaufman there, he’s pretty great! Everyone should meet Lloyd Kaufman!

Lloyd Kaufman with me and my husband in 2010

Lloyd Kaufman helped my husband with a homework assignment, and he got an "A" on it! (2011)


3. Name one famous person who inspires you. (Just one!!!)

Ellen DeGeneres

4. Tea or Coffee?
I love them both! I love coffee drinks, and I love sweet iced tea. (that’s the worst part of going to Indianapolis, those crazy northerners don’t drink the sweet tea like we do here in the south!)  Right now my favorite drink is a chai tea latte with a shot of espresso, so that’s a combo of tea and coffee!

5. If you could be any other person for 48 hours, who would you be?
Ok this is tough, because my first thought was Jared Padalecki so I could hang out with Jensen Ackles on the set of Supernatural for two days…but then I realized I’d equally like to be Jensen Ackles so I could hang out with Jared Padalecki for two days. So can I split this, one day as Jared Padalecki and one day as Jensen Ackles? Pretty please?

*swoon*

6. What is your earliest memory?
Putting gum in my Snuggle Bear’s mouth, and getting yelled at for pretty much gluing his mouth shut.

7. If you could ask anyone in the world, living or dead, anything, who would you ask, and what would you ask them?
Oh wow… this is a tough one. I know I’d like to talk to my Granny and Pap again (they both died in 2009), but I’m not sure what I’d ask them. Maybe more about their past so I could know more details about their lives pre-me.

8. What is the scariest thing you have ever done?
I honestly don’t do scary things. I’m a freaking scaredy-cat. Balloons terrify me because you never know when they will pop! So I’d say the thing that made me most nervous was trying out for the All-State choir my senior year of high school, because you have to stand alone in a room and sing a capella for like 3 full minutes. I thought I’d rather die than do that.

9. What is your favorite book?
I don’t know if I could pick one! Like Beth, I’ve recently loved The Hunger Games. One of my all time favorites is Stephen King’s The Stand. Gotta love me some Harry Potter (can’t pick one)! One of my favorite books since I was probably 6 or so is C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Also, I have to show some love to Chuck Palahniuk’s Fight Club, and Invisible Monsters. So children’s fantasy novels, books about the end of the world, and novel’s about crazy people who aren’t happy being themselves…sure that makes sense.

10. Briefly explain one of the weirdest dreams you have ever had.
Oh I have weird dreams all the time. So last night I had a dream that Woo (that’s my husband), my friend Monica and I were at an airport (a place I’ve never been). There was an escaped convict running around and they were evacuating the place, and putting people in large vans to drive them somewhere safe. The three of us got in this van, and it started to drive off but stopped suddenly because a police van drove in front of us. We saw that they had the convict chained up inside and so we all relaxed. Then the police man got out of the police van and unchained the convict and he ran off again! We were freaking out because he was right next to us so we locked the doors. Then the police man opened the back of our van to get a gun to chase the guy down with (it seems he should have had his own gun already, but dreams don’t make sense) Something happened, and he ended up shooting Woo twice, but only grazing his arm. Then he ran off, and we all ran back into the airport so Woo could get some treatment for his arm.

Once we got inside the airport an alarm went off and someone came over the loud speaker that the whole place needed to be decontaminated (I’m not sure from what). So we were all handed radiation jackets to protect our organs, hauled into one big room and someone flipped a switch where we were all blasted with radiation for a while. Then that was over and either we forgot about the escaped convict or didn’t care anymore, we started wondering around the airport. I then randomly ran into Melissa McCarthy (Gilmore Girls, Bridesmaids). I kept trying to tell her how much I loved her as Sookie St. James from the Gilmore Girls but she couldn’t be bothered to talk to me and it made me sad.

Then I ran to another part of the airport that had a tattoo convention and there was a tattoo scavenger hunt – you had to find the tattoo artist doing a particular tattoo and get them to tattoo it on you. I decided I’d do my own tattoos rather than finding the actual tattoo artists, and so I ended up with two boot tattoos, and a cartoon dog. I remember that I ran into another girl there who had found the actual tattoo artist to do the boot tattoo, and her tattoo was a really pretty feminine bow, with a boot in the center that you could hardly tell was a boot. I then tried to find a tattoo artist to cover up my tattoo mistakes. I’m not even that into tattoos so I don’t know what that was all about.

I guess that was three dreams now that I think about it, but they all took place in that airport.

11. What one song best describes you? (Feel free to post a link to a Youtube vid)
Well this is another tough one! When I was a teenager I’d say any of the Good Charlotte “angry at the absent father” songs.

12. Pen or pencil?
Pen! I love collecting odd pens.

13. Is 13 an unlucky number or not?
Nah.

 

Ok there you  have it, a bunch of random and hard to answer questions!

I’ve decided that instead of passing this on to particular people, I will consider anyone who likes or comments on this tagged, because I value anyone who actually takes the time to read my blog!