The Wootape Questions

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OK apparently I’m in an answering questions kind of mood lately. I dunno, what can I say, I’m boring and that gray matter between my ears isn’t coming up with anything topical or quirky to write about, so for now, questions it is!

My crazy husband recently posted 11 questions on his blog – The Wootape Letters, and what the heck, I figured since he answered my questions, I’ll answer his!

1. If you could kill any one famous person, who would it be, keep in mind that you have to eat them?

Wow what the hell? I’m going to pretend we are lost in a frozen tundra and they are half dead and begging me to finish them off, and if I don’t kill them they will die a slow painful death, and if I don’t eat them I won’t be able to survive long enough to make it to the orphanage in the middle of the frozen tundra to save the starving orphans … I’d kill and eat David Beckham. I don’t know why him really, I was trying to think of an athlete and he was the first that came to mind.

2. If you could alter any one work of fiction, what would it be, and how?

I’d change Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, I’d leave Dobby and Fred Weasley alive.

3. If you could marry or at least hook up with one fictionaal character, who would it be?

Oooohhh yeah Dean Winchester from Supernatural. Or Sam Winchester. Oh … my… gosh… don’t make me choose!

4. If you could have any mythical creature as a pet, what would it be?

Unicorn!

5. If you could fight any one celebrity, who would it be? (not to the death)

Sheamus! hehehehe

6. If you could produce a duet album from two musicians, living or dead, who would it be?

Bach and Matthew Bellamy (from Muse).

7. If you could have the powers of any one supeerhero (or villain), who would it be?

Professor X, it would be handy to know what people are thinking.

8. If you could own any weapon from fiction, what would you choose? (lightsaber, Excaliber, Green Lantern ring, etc)

Well, I’d like a wand  like in Harry Potter, but I’m just a muggle so it would be useless to me. Then maybe I thought I’d take the sword of Gryffindor, but I went through the sorting hat at the Pottermore site, and I was sorted into Hufflepuff so I’d never be able to have the sword of Gryffindor.

So I’ll take piranha gun, oh yeah!

9. You have one question to ask the universe and have answered, what do you ask?

What’s the point of it all? Why are we here, why do we have war and famine and disease, to what purpose does it all serve?

10.What’s in the cave? (hint…only what you take with you)

Well I had no idea what this question even meant, so my husband had to explain it was from a scene in Star Wars where Luke is faced with his deepest fears. So, what are my deepest fears? Luke’s fear was turning into his father. My husband says I have a bit of that in me. It’s not that he’s a bad man, or maybe he is, I don’t know. He has a lot of problems that I actively choose to avoid (drugs). I won’t smoke pot, I avoid things like pain killers prescribed by doctors … I have a fear of accidentally becoming addicted to things. You hear of people getting in car wrecks and then having to take pain killers and becoming addicted to them. I never want to do drugs or become addicted to them, they cause so much hurt and I just don’t understand drug addicts even though I grew up with them.

Shoooo that was heavy, I don’t much like talking about heavy things like that.

11.”Why, Mr. [READER]? Why, why, why? Why do you do it? Why, why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you’re fighting for something, for more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is, do you even know? Is it freedom, or truth, perhaps peace, could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. [READER], vagaries of perception. Temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without any meaning or purpose! And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself. Although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it Mr. Anderson, you must know it by now. You can’t win, it’s pointless to keep fighting! Why, Mr. [READER], why? Why do you persist?”

Another one my husband had to explain, although I gathered it was from the movie the Matrix. Why do I persist? Because I have to. What other choice is there? Letting go, giving up? Not an option.

Ok my husband’s questions gave me brain damage. They were hard to answer! Anyone else want to give them a go?

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I’m IT!

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So, my husband was quick to point out that I didn’t answer my own questions the other day. Not that it is part of the rules but I thought, what the heck, maybe I’ll take a stab at my own questions! Not that I have anything better to do with myself at this moment…

1. What is the one thing you would do if there were no physical or monetary limitations, be it with someone dead or alive?

Honestly, if I could just build some sort of portal to my Granny and Papaw so I could still talk to them, that is what I’d do. Even if it was just once for a minute, it would be worth it.

2. If there was no space-time continuum to worry about, what would you go into the past to change?

I might go back in time and talk myself into researching more colleges and the price of private university vs. public. 

3. Who would you cast in the movie of your own life?

Well, my husband thinks she’s too old to play me, so I’ll say if there was a movie about my future life, I’d cast Melissa McCarthy as me. (Ok so she is 13 years older than me, big deal!)

4. If you could force one famous person into retirement, who would it be?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…. Justin Bieber.

5. Just what is the secret to the universe?

I dunno, but that sucker is huge!

6. If you could be one other person for a day, who would it be?

Ellen DeGeneres.

7. You are forced to move into one literary setting (like Narnia.. or uh, the house on Paper St. that Fight Club took place in) – you have to leave your friends, family, home, etc. but you have your choice of literary setting to move into … what would it be?

Why, the wizarding world of Harry Potter of course!

8. If there was no danger in it, what one planet in our solar system would you travel to?

Jupiter – I am fascinated by Jupiter’s moons, and if I traveled to Jupiter I’d be much closer to them than I am now!

9. You can have any one celebrity fight any one animal, which would it be?

Justin Bieber vs. a mountain lion.

10. Just what book would you take with you on a stranded island.

Definitely some sort of survival book.

11. Which horror movie villain would you most like to share a banana split with?

If this is just a friendly moment I’m having, and he’s not going to actually kill me after we eat the cherries… I have to go with Freddy Krueger.