This Month’s Round of Weirdness

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Last month I posted about the search terms that led people to my blog. I probably shot myself in the foot doing that, but I think it’s funny so that’s not going to stop me from doing it again!

So, since that last post I’ve had some more strange and similar search terms leading folks to read your’s truly. Some of these really do terrify and confuse me.

my husband is into pantyhose: My husband isn’t. If he is, he’s not letting me know about it. Wait, let me ask him.

Me: Hey, you into pantyhose?

Him: *Incredulous look* Am I into them? No why?

Me: Because people are searching “my husband is into pantyhose” to get to my blog.

Him: Weird…

Ok I think that means he’s not into pantyhose. Phew you heard it here first… my husband is not into pantyhose. Glad we cleared up that mystery.

naked painting sex man woman: Ohhh we are changing it up a bit, I see. Last month the search “paintings of man sex” led folks to my blog, this month we are adding a woman into the mix! Still confusing as to why google would send someone to my blog by searching for that, as I don’t talk about naked people often…let me ask my husband if he knows.

Me: Hey do you know why people are googleing naked painting sex man woman?

Him: No idea…

Well, this one is still a mystery to us all!

husband pantyhose: Really?!

reggae, my old kentucky home: I doubt that there are many folks in my old Kentucky hometown that are into reggae, though personally I do enjoy me some Bob Marley from time to time.

girl smoking spitting: Well she needs some damn manners, doesn’t she? My granny always told me if I ever felt like I needed to spit, to go into the bathroom and shut the door so no one could see me, because proper girls aren’t supposed to spit. I’ll ask my husband what he thinks.

Me: What do you think about a girl smoking spitting?

Him: Smoking spitting?

Me: A girl, smoking spitting?

Him: A girl smoking…it’s OK. Spitting, that’s gross. Why are you asking me such weird questions.

Me: Because I am.

Him: Are you interviewing me without my knowledge again? You are! How long have you been doing this? You’re still typing. UGH!

jared padalecki instagram: Always happy to oblige.

Yeah….brood for me.

 

Want one of Jensen Ackles too?

Oh sure why the heck not, I’ll throw one in of Misha Collins too.

Ahh feel better now with the pretty faces of Supernatural? Me too. Good, good.

Well, that’s pretty much it for this month’s round of weirdness. Until next time…

 

What the World Wants to Know

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Sometimes I find strange search engine terms that have led people to my blog. My husband found it amusing that he wrote one blog post about Katherine Heigel in her bra, and now gets traffic daily from people searching that out.  So now he includes a picture of her in a bra with every post. Seriously, world? This is what motivates people … Katherine Heigel in a bra.

Anyway, here are some of the more interesting things that people have done a google search on leading them to my blog (I’m copying and pasting these just as they are, I’m not correcting spelling or grammar):

limebirds band: Well, I am a part of the Limebird Writers, but I didn’t know we had a band! Can I join in on tambourine?

paintings of man sex: Oh yeah, paintings of man sex, I know how that led someone to my blog….wait, what? Paintings of man sex? No I don’t think I’ve ever written about or included paintings of man sex. Do you think now that I’ve said “Paintings of man sex”  5 times it will lead more people here? I hope they aren’t disappointed when they find 0 paintings of man sex. (Disturbingly enough, this brought 2 people to my blog…)

pitchers of supernatural: Well I wasn’t aware that one could drink the Winchester brothers (must….get….mind….out … of … gutter… nope too late!)… but I have posted pictures of Supernatural. Here’s one now!

cheap ways to cover walls: Been throwing one too many head through a wall and need to cover up the crime? Sorry to say I cannot help in that department.

sidegoggled: Now this I’m actually pleased to see. It confirms that I in fact did not make up the word side goggled. Take that husband! Neener needer boo boo!

how would i look like gails mother from hunger games: I don’t know how you would look like Gale’s mother, maybe because that is the way you were born? This question is giving me brain damage.

fat kid from harry potter: Well that’s just hurtful! How would you like it if I called you “skinny kid from the internet”? Yeah… doesn’t really have a sting to it, does it? Moving on.

cheesecake congress: Do we vote for cheesecakes to be in congress? Or is there a congress composed of only cheesecakes? I’m intrigued by this idea of cheesecake congress. More importantly, I really want some cheesecake now.

cheesecake deprivation: That is a sad SAD thought, to be sitting alone deprived of cheesecake. That should be illegal.

what is the first book in the uglies series: Uglies

“pantyhose” husband: Again, why did this search term lead someone to my blog? My husband doesn’t wear pantyhose, that I know of. (Well…there was this one Halloween…) If he did happen to wear pantyhose, I certainly wouldn’t blog about it for the world to see.

what is neville’s real name in real life?: IMDb.com is a great website.

last name woo: It’s a pretty fun last name to have, if I do say so myself. It really confuses people when they see me since I’m a super fair-skinned, light-haired and  blue-eyed woman, and they learn my last name. No, no one has asked me if I was Chinese on the phone (a receptionist asked me if I ever got that question). Oddly enough, my husband who is part Chinese doesn’t look a bit Chinese at all, but no one seems to question why his last name is Woo…

dax shepard sam rockwell: Oh, I hope my husband doesn’t see this.

“two lindsay lohans”: Dear God, no! Oh wait you probably mean The Parent Trap, don’t you?

are you a man or a muppet: I’m a muppet of a man.

that awkward moment when dean winchester: bursts into my room naked. Oh wait, no my head was still in the gutter from earlier, sorry about that.

These are the things that keep people up at night. Now, these are the things that keep me up at night.

Stop and Look Up

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I noticed my last two posts were a bit on the grumpy side. I blame the heat! It has been in the mid-80’s all week and I am MELTING (I can’t make the word “melting” any stronger!) I work at home at a call center, and that means that my area has to be quiet. Since I live with two insane cats who do nothing but make my life hard, and a crazy man who yells at video games all day, I have to leave the door shut. This closes me off from… roughly all cool air. Add three computer’s to the mix and you’ve got one super toasty me. No joke, I had a chocolate chip cookie in here from yesterday that I didn’t eat, I went to pick it up today and the chips had melted!

The AC is on, it’s just trying to destroy me. I really really REALLY dread summer!

ANYWAY, I got off on another rant that I didn’t mean to. I noticed that I had been grumpy for a few days and when I get grumpy I like to look to the sky. It makes me feel like no matter what is going on in my head or in my life that in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter. I don’t know if that is a good feeling or a bad feeling, now that I think about it.

I saw the evening sky the other day and it really struck me.

This was just before the sun set. I love how near the horizon the sky is light and clouds are dark, but then the sky transitions to a deeper blue and lighter clouds.

I love when I can look up at the sky and see something beautiful like this. Thinking of the world, the solar system, the universe… it all makes my silly problems seem not so bad. Maybe instead of stopping to smell the roses, we should all stop and just look up.

Paperclip Award!

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What a great way to start a Sunday, which is the “Monday” of my work week so I don’t usually wake up on Sunday’s with a cheery disposition! Lovely Limebird Beth of the Limebird Writers has nominated me for the Paperclip Award! Huzzah!

The award comes with some questions for me to answer. Here goes!

1. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I went through a period of wanting to be an astronaut, because I loved studying the solar system. And using the new term I learned from Limebird Beth today… I realized I was pretty pants at science so there went that idea. Then I wanted to be a rock star but I’m super shy so scratch that (plus I never really learned to play any instrument). Then around my Junior year of high school I realized what I really loved was film and that was that!

2. What is your ultimate favorite place to be?

I’m not sure I have a favorite place. I don’t have a big tree I like to sit under, or person’s house I like to visit often. I mean, I like being with the husband wherever he is, and we have a date night each week and that’s usually my favorite night of the week, wherever it is we are going.

We go to  a convention every year in downtown Indianapolis, Indiana. It’s a nerd convention that he always has a lot of fun with, signing up for nerd games and stuff. I just have fun tagging along and being in a “big” city for a few days eating at different restaurants and meeting different people. I don’t know if that is my “favorite” place to be, but I look forward to it a lot, just having a chance to get out of town for a few days a week.

Plus we get to meet the awesome Lloyd Kaufman there, he’s pretty great! Everyone should meet Lloyd Kaufman!

Lloyd Kaufman with me and my husband in 2010

Lloyd Kaufman helped my husband with a homework assignment, and he got an "A" on it! (2011)


3. Name one famous person who inspires you. (Just one!!!)

Ellen DeGeneres

4. Tea or Coffee?
I love them both! I love coffee drinks, and I love sweet iced tea. (that’s the worst part of going to Indianapolis, those crazy northerners don’t drink the sweet tea like we do here in the south!)  Right now my favorite drink is a chai tea latte with a shot of espresso, so that’s a combo of tea and coffee!

5. If you could be any other person for 48 hours, who would you be?
Ok this is tough, because my first thought was Jared Padalecki so I could hang out with Jensen Ackles on the set of Supernatural for two days…but then I realized I’d equally like to be Jensen Ackles so I could hang out with Jared Padalecki for two days. So can I split this, one day as Jared Padalecki and one day as Jensen Ackles? Pretty please?

*swoon*

6. What is your earliest memory?
Putting gum in my Snuggle Bear’s mouth, and getting yelled at for pretty much gluing his mouth shut.

7. If you could ask anyone in the world, living or dead, anything, who would you ask, and what would you ask them?
Oh wow… this is a tough one. I know I’d like to talk to my Granny and Pap again (they both died in 2009), but I’m not sure what I’d ask them. Maybe more about their past so I could know more details about their lives pre-me.

8. What is the scariest thing you have ever done?
I honestly don’t do scary things. I’m a freaking scaredy-cat. Balloons terrify me because you never know when they will pop! So I’d say the thing that made me most nervous was trying out for the All-State choir my senior year of high school, because you have to stand alone in a room and sing a capella for like 3 full minutes. I thought I’d rather die than do that.

9. What is your favorite book?
I don’t know if I could pick one! Like Beth, I’ve recently loved The Hunger Games. One of my all time favorites is Stephen King’s The Stand. Gotta love me some Harry Potter (can’t pick one)! One of my favorite books since I was probably 6 or so is C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Also, I have to show some love to Chuck Palahniuk’s Fight Club, and Invisible Monsters. So children’s fantasy novels, books about the end of the world, and novel’s about crazy people who aren’t happy being themselves…sure that makes sense.

10. Briefly explain one of the weirdest dreams you have ever had.
Oh I have weird dreams all the time. So last night I had a dream that Woo (that’s my husband), my friend Monica and I were at an airport (a place I’ve never been). There was an escaped convict running around and they were evacuating the place, and putting people in large vans to drive them somewhere safe. The three of us got in this van, and it started to drive off but stopped suddenly because a police van drove in front of us. We saw that they had the convict chained up inside and so we all relaxed. Then the police man got out of the police van and unchained the convict and he ran off again! We were freaking out because he was right next to us so we locked the doors. Then the police man opened the back of our van to get a gun to chase the guy down with (it seems he should have had his own gun already, but dreams don’t make sense) Something happened, and he ended up shooting Woo twice, but only grazing his arm. Then he ran off, and we all ran back into the airport so Woo could get some treatment for his arm.

Once we got inside the airport an alarm went off and someone came over the loud speaker that the whole place needed to be decontaminated (I’m not sure from what). So we were all handed radiation jackets to protect our organs, hauled into one big room and someone flipped a switch where we were all blasted with radiation for a while. Then that was over and either we forgot about the escaped convict or didn’t care anymore, we started wondering around the airport. I then randomly ran into Melissa McCarthy (Gilmore Girls, Bridesmaids). I kept trying to tell her how much I loved her as Sookie St. James from the Gilmore Girls but she couldn’t be bothered to talk to me and it made me sad.

Then I ran to another part of the airport that had a tattoo convention and there was a tattoo scavenger hunt – you had to find the tattoo artist doing a particular tattoo and get them to tattoo it on you. I decided I’d do my own tattoos rather than finding the actual tattoo artists, and so I ended up with two boot tattoos, and a cartoon dog. I remember that I ran into another girl there who had found the actual tattoo artist to do the boot tattoo, and her tattoo was a really pretty feminine bow, with a boot in the center that you could hardly tell was a boot. I then tried to find a tattoo artist to cover up my tattoo mistakes. I’m not even that into tattoos so I don’t know what that was all about.

I guess that was three dreams now that I think about it, but they all took place in that airport.

11. What one song best describes you? (Feel free to post a link to a Youtube vid)
Well this is another tough one! When I was a teenager I’d say any of the Good Charlotte “angry at the absent father” songs.

12. Pen or pencil?
Pen! I love collecting odd pens.

13. Is 13 an unlucky number or not?
Nah.

 

Ok there you  have it, a bunch of random and hard to answer questions!

I’ve decided that instead of passing this on to particular people, I will consider anyone who likes or comments on this tagged, because I value anyone who actually takes the time to read my blog!

Smiling Drool!

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I was flipping through my phone the other day and found this picture, I forgot I took.

Yeah, that's smiling drool!

I vaguely remember waking up in the middle of the night and seeing that, and then my husband telling me to take a picture. I guess you can’t having smiling drool and not capture it’s moment for all of time.

I’ve been having issues sleeping for about a week. I don’t know what happened! Usually I’m the type of person that needs roughly 22 hours of sleep to function.

Usually I lay in bed for a while trying to sleep until some crazy hour after the sun comes up. This week as soon as I’m off work it’s lights out for me.  I mean I guess it’s great getting up early and having a full day before work, but I don’t get off work until 3 a.m., and those later hours are starting to get really rough.

I even been trying to take a nap during the day so I won’t turn into a zombie around midnight, and that is hard too!

Maybe 28 is the year of no sleep.

I’m IT!

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So, my husband was quick to point out that I didn’t answer my own questions the other day. Not that it is part of the rules but I thought, what the heck, maybe I’ll take a stab at my own questions! Not that I have anything better to do with myself at this moment…

1. What is the one thing you would do if there were no physical or monetary limitations, be it with someone dead or alive?

Honestly, if I could just build some sort of portal to my Granny and Papaw so I could still talk to them, that is what I’d do. Even if it was just once for a minute, it would be worth it.

2. If there was no space-time continuum to worry about, what would you go into the past to change?

I might go back in time and talk myself into researching more colleges and the price of private university vs. public. 

3. Who would you cast in the movie of your own life?

Well, my husband thinks she’s too old to play me, so I’ll say if there was a movie about my future life, I’d cast Melissa McCarthy as me. (Ok so she is 13 years older than me, big deal!)

4. If you could force one famous person into retirement, who would it be?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…. Justin Bieber.

5. Just what is the secret to the universe?

I dunno, but that sucker is huge!

6. If you could be one other person for a day, who would it be?

Ellen DeGeneres.

7. You are forced to move into one literary setting (like Narnia.. or uh, the house on Paper St. that Fight Club took place in) – you have to leave your friends, family, home, etc. but you have your choice of literary setting to move into … what would it be?

Why, the wizarding world of Harry Potter of course!

8. If there was no danger in it, what one planet in our solar system would you travel to?

Jupiter – I am fascinated by Jupiter’s moons, and if I traveled to Jupiter I’d be much closer to them than I am now!

9. You can have any one celebrity fight any one animal, which would it be?

Justin Bieber vs. a mountain lion.

10. Just what book would you take with you on a stranded island.

Definitely some sort of survival book.

11. Which horror movie villain would you most like to share a banana split with?

If this is just a friendly moment I’m having, and he’s not going to actually kill me after we eat the cherries… I have to go with Freddy Krueger.

Shut Up Brain!

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I can’t sleep, I’m bored, and these are the things currently on my mind:

1. I hate being self-conscious. Today I thought I caught two giggling teenagers pointing out my has-its-own-orbit girth. Later at the coffee shop I caught a man sitting at a laptop covered in Ron Paul stickers giving me sideways glances, which made me wonder if he was judging me too. I wondered at that point if there was a hole I could crawl in to or a giant sized paper bag to wear over my person.

2. The Foo Fighters are freaking bad-ass epic awesome. I saw them in concert when I was 16, and that needs to happen again.

3. I’ve needed to go to the grocery store since Wednesday, and I haven’t managed to make it there yet.

4. I’m terrified of loud pops.

5. Sam and Dean Winchester need to be real.

6. We went to see Wanderlust and it was really funny!

7. Maybe I shouldn’t have had a chai tea latte with a shot of espresso at 10 PM…

8. I can’t believe I’ll be 28 in 9 days… what happened to 18?

9. I’m addicted to Vanilla Coke Zero. I need some now. NOW!

10. I can’t wait until the Hunger Games movie comes out.

11.  I wish I had more than 3 hours of sleep.

12. Morgan Freeman should be the narrator of everything in existence.

13. They really should make a Gilmore Girls movie… for real. Really. Please?