What the World Wants to Know – July

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You guessed it! Time to see what weird google searches brought visitors to my blog in the last 30 days.  Without further ado (I copied and pasted these as is):

  • my granny pantyhose blog – Um?? I don’t even want to know.
  • shut up brain it’s sleep time – You’ve got a point there! It is sleep time dammit!
  • husband says our neighborhood looks like the ghetto – Maybe you should move then. Oh, wait…it’s my neighborhood that is the ghetto. Maybe I should move then. Nah that’s too much effort.
  • grammas in pantyhose –  Really? Why? This is disturbing, and I know I shoot myself in the foot by even putting this in a post…but when have I ever written about “grammas” and “pantyhose” together? There was this one time…oh wait, no, that never happened…
  • i’m married and i’m obsessed with tom hiddleston – Me too girlfriend, me too.

  • “my husband’s belly button” – my husband has a pretty amusing belly button, now that I think about it. I like to button attack him when he least suspects it. Mwahahaha. Oh crap, he reads this.
  • harry potter fat kid – Bitch I know you’re talkin’ bout Neville and you can just back on up off that “fat” comment, he is svelte and amazing and we don’t go ’round talkin’ bout Neville like that!…..Ahem whoah sorry about that, I seemed to have gone a little crazy.
  • “90s bangs” – Please, no. Don’t do it. Nothing good will come of it. Put the scissors down and slowly back away.
  • limebirds – Yeah, Limebirds! Now that was worthy a google search!
  • tom hiddleston loves cheese cakes – Well who the heck doesn’t?

There you have it folks, the things that keep the world up at night. They’re definitely keeping me up at night now…

 

LOKI’D!

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OK… I hereby solemnly swear to try to shut up about Loki sometime soon.

TRY I said… that’s the key word.

So, lately I’ve been cracking up at the god of mischief in this video from MTV’s After Hours –

loki’d from gorgeous anon on Vimeo.

After yelling “LOKI’D” in my husband’s face at top volume for about a day, it struck me, “Why not just play some pranks yourself, Laura?” And then myself replied, “That is the best idea you’ve had all day!”

Well, wouldn’t you know my delight when my husband handed me his phone and asked me to plug it in for him. MWAHAHA, I had an idea.

My first round of Loki’d, I decided to set a calendar alarm on his phone, to go off at 5 a.m. (The hour isn’t bad, we are usually still up at 5 a.m.) I slyly handed him his phone and told him I was going to stretch out and watch a movie in the other room. About 30 minutes later, I hear “Come here!” from the living room. Oh… I’m giggling on the inside at full volume by then.  He’s sitting there giving me that “Oh, you scamp” look, with the alert going off on his phone.

HA!

LOKI’D!

I love iPhones, it makes it easy to document my pranks!

 

Guess what he found when he closed the calendar part of his phone and went to his home screen?

LOKI’D!!!

HAHAHA Oh I do go on.

I ended my Loki pranks for the night there, and let it go. He made some mention of having to get me back now… pffftt. Whatev’s dude.

The next day he made the mistake of leaving his phone near me again.

Hahahah I’m the bad guy!

You’ve been Loki’d again! It was at that point that he threatened to poo in my food. He used those words exactly. Poo. In my food. Well, he is the one that does all the cooking around here, because when I cook it turns to some sort of hardened charcoal… I don’t want any poo in my food, so maybe I’ll ease off…. for a day or two!

It seems he got tired of being Loki’d though, and has now locked me out of his phone! The nerve! I swear!

BUT now every time he wants to use his phone he has to punch in his code and go through that extra step, and really isn’t that a win for me!? It’s like being Loki’d over and over again! HAHAHAHA LOKI’D!!!!

Loki!

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I’ve got it bad for Tom Hiddleston/Loki.

I watch this video at least 4 times a day, if not more!

I don’t even know what is going on! I mean, I went through that stage in middle school where I was in love with Johnathan Taylor Thomas and Hanson, and in high school where I’d swoon at rock stars feet…but this is just weird! I mean, I’m married and I’m pushing 30 and I feel like some kinda crazy woman in love with …

Well damn have you seen his smile?

Boom. Try not to faint.

I don’t know why I’m so in love with this man… I mean his smile….his eyes…..his accent…..SWOON.

Phew give me a minute here.

Must…catch…my…breath…

People keep asking me why I keep talking about him around my husband. Here’s the deal. Hubby knows, and why on earth would he care? He’s got celebrity crushes. I know if Fran Drescher walked into the room I’d be immediately forgotten. It’s not like in the unlikely event that I find myself in the same room as Tom Hiddleston that I will immediately shred all clothing and throw myself onto his person with my husband standing there.

No. I’d give Tom a sly little wink wink nudge nudge action, shake the hubby, and then throw myself at him! DUH!

Seriously, I kid. In all honesty my husband is my best friend, and I would never do anything to intentionally hurt his feeling or rob him of his manhood or anything like that. He accepts I’m in love with Tom Hiddleston, and buys me toys to support my obsession!

No, not THAT type of toy, you sick perv!

Also, my hubby doesn’t beat me when I send him texts like this:

Mostly I have the best hubby ever, he knows I’m obsessed with Loki and doesn’t laugh at me when I do things like this to my computer monitor:

So fear not friends, if I end up murdered by my hubby in the middle of the night, it will not be due to my obsession with Tom Hiddleston.

It will probably be because I “accidentally” bumped into where it hurts the most on a man with my elbow one too many times….whoops!

Thor who?

The god of my Heart

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Um…hi? *knock knock knock* Is this thing on?

So I’ve been silent for about a month now, I wanted to apologize for that. I know it’s in bad blogger form. My husband keeps telling me I “need to cheesecake”, and I know  he’s right. He goes about a month in between posts though, so I don’t know who he thinks he is telling me I need better blogger form. Harumph!

What’s been going on in my life for the past month that merits a chuckle-worthy blog post you ask? Not a whole lot really, hence the silence. I don’t know, I’ve not been particularly amused or horrified of anything lately.

But what I have found…is a new husband! Yep that’s right you heard it here first folks, in a month’s time I’ve divorced Woo and hitched up with a new man.

He’s a pretty powerful guy. Actually, he wants to rule the world, and how could a girl not love that. He’s got these awesomely beautiful blue eyes and a really cool staff. Not like he employes a staff, but  you know… a big stick thingy? Oh and his smile is absolutely swoon-worthy.

I know I’ve found my mate for life. Dear readers, I must admit I’m one happy girl to have found this love.

I’ve got a few of the wedding pics back, and I thought I’d share them here with you all.

Just mere moments after the big “I do”, isn’t he a dream boat?

I know he’s thinking “I couldn’t be happier…except if my plot to rule Earth had actually gone as planned.”

Unfortunately, my husband’s brother Thor has taken him back to Asgard because he’s a “bad guy”. Gah my brother-in-law can be such a hot head! I mean, Thor went all crashing into Jotunheim and pissing off a bunch of frost giants and putting the welfare of Asgard in danger. But nooooooo everyone’s all “Thor’s the greatest look at his awesome blonde locks he can do no harm..” yadda yadda, bull crap I say.

My husband Loki is just misunderstood. I mean, as a baby he was torn from his birth father and raised next to the mighty Thor, but had no hope of ever becoming the King of Asgard. So he may be a little mischievous… everyone wants to have a little fun now and then, do they not?

Ah Loki, I dream of the day you’ll be back in my arms again…

How could a girl not fall for a man with such an awesome helmet?