Insane People: Part 2

9

There’s something about working customer service that really opens ones eyes to the insanity that abounds in this world.  People get so worked up about things that don’t matter! There was one guy the other day saying we “ruined his life.” – I’m still not sure how, but I just can’t imagine calling Time Warner up and telling them they’ve ruined my life. I mean sure, Time Warner has some of the crappiest customer support I’ve ever had to deal with, but at the end of the day I know I could go out and get my internet somewhere else if I felt they were ruining my life!

Anyway, I digress.

One of the things that kills me about people is that they don’t seem to grasp the concept of commerce. I never realized before I started working where I do that so many things in life are supposed to be free, like cell services, cable, internet, etc…

Me: Hello, (insert customer name here) how can I help you today?

Customer: I got an email that my card was charged, I didn’t authorize that.

Me: Our billing is all automatic, we automatically debit your payment each month.

Customer: I did not authorize that, you put the money back on my card now!

Me: It appears you haven’t paid the bill, though.

Customer: But the email says I did!

Me: We actually don’t have a payment method here to bill you from. You need to add one to the account so we can take the monthly payment.

Customer: I DID NOT AUTHORIZE YOU TO TAKE PAYMENTS!

Me: OK…the payment hasn’t been made.

Customer: Ok, because I didn’t authorize a payment.

Me: Ok…

Customer: You’re not taking a payment unless I authorize it. And I don’t.

Me: Ok… no payment has been made.

Customer: I haven’t authorized a payment! I’m going to get a lawyer!

Me: We haven’t taken a payment. We have no payment method on file to take a payment from. You have not made a payment, we have not taken a payment. But your account is now past due and a payment must be made to avoid suspension.

Customer: Well  you’re not getting a payment. You’ll get one when I say you do.

Me: Ok…

Customer: And I don’t authorize a payment.

Me: Ok…

Customer: I’ll mail a check when I feel like it.

Me: We don’t accept checks by mail.

Customer: You’ll get paid how I say you’ll get paid.

Me: Ok. That’s fine and all but we don’t accept payments by mail so you’ll still owe the balance.

Customer: I haven’t authorized a payment!!

For part one of the insanity – click here

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Insane People: Part 1

17

Me: Thank you for calling *Name of company omitted so I’m not destroyed by the wrath of HQ*, my name is Laura, may I please have the phone number associated with the account?

Customer: *In a super fast manner that not even the Flash could decipher* 123456789 OR it could be 987654321 (Actual phone number may vary)

Me: I’m sorry, could you please say the first number again, I don’t think I got it all.

Customer: *In a super slow, super loud, super exasperated tone* 1….2…..3……4…….5…..6 SIGH 7…..8…..9…..

Me: Thank you, what can I do for you tonight?

Customer: I can’t connect to the internet.

Me: I’m so sorry that you are having trouble, would you be able to please unplug the modem for me?

Customer: *Yelling* I have to put the phone down.

Me: Ok.

Customer *Walks away* *Picks the phone back up* I can’t find the plug what is it? (I describe the plug) *Walks away* *Picks phone back up* I still can’t find the plug…. (this went on 2 – 3 more times.)

Call was disconnected.

I call them back. Husband Answers.

Husband: Ok I unplugged it and it still won’t connect.

Call was disconnected.

I call them back. Husband Answers.

Me: Ok I’m sorry about that, could you make sure the cords are tight?

Call was disconnected.

I call them back. Customer answers.

Me: Hello, I’m sorry that the call was disconnected.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Me: Hello, are you able to hear me?

Customer: YES I CAN HEAR YOU, YES I CAN HEAR YOU. I CAN HEAR YOU. I CAN HEAR YOU SPEAK I CAN HEAR YOU. I CAN  HEAR YOU YES YOU HAVE GOT TO SPEAK I CAN HEAR YOU I CAN HEAR YOU I CAN HEAR YOU I CAN HEAR YOU I CAN HEAR YOU I CAN HEAR YOU I CAN HEAR YOU FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SPEAK I CAN HEAR YOU.

(It’s kind of hard to speak with you yelling… but I didn’t say that)

Me: Ok it looks like we need to set up for a tech to come to your house and take a look at your equipment.

Customer: GET ME YOUR SUPERVISOR.

Me: I am the supervisor.

Customer: I DON’T CARE GET ME WHOEVER IS ABOVE YOU.

 

….Okie Dokie….

Just an Annoying Rant

4

I just don’t understand people.

I start to feel beaten in my job. I work customer service and for the most part the only people I actually talk to are the ones demanding a supervisor, or making outlandish legal threats. I’m not the type of person that can handle things like this.

Why have I been able to work in my position for 3 years now? I have no idea. I deal with cranky, crabby, down right horrible people.

My job itself is fine, I’m glad to have a job. I work from the comfort (use that term lightly, it’s freaking hot in my office these days since we hit summer about a month ago) of my own home. And most of the time, I can deal with the crabbiness. God knows why, but I’m about as perky and upbeat as they come.

But then, I get one so downright horrible that it just drains me. It’s hard to bounce back from. It sticks with me. I know they aren’t mad at me per se, but there’s nothing I can do to fix the company’s issue that has caused such anger, and I’m stuck listening to someone degrade me for an hour until my soul is just tired. I had one of those calls tonight. The man wasn’t even that mean, he was just refusing to accept anything I said, and even yelled at me for wishing him a good night.

It’s calls like that that I feel like I need a support group for. Let’s go around the room and talk about the horrifying customer’s we’ve had to deal with until we all feel like our souls are doing better. Does that exist?

I just wish people didn’t assume they know how things work. And trust me when I say there isn’t a magic button I can press to make the internet work right. If there was, I would have pressed it 2 minutes into the soul butchering conversation and spared my sanity from the hour long beat down. I really would have.

This was just an annoying rant, I’m sorry.

Those Poor Dogs

2

What not to do if you want me to help you – screech into my ear…for 10 minutes straight…without stopping.

I work the “glamourous” job of customer service. Now, normally I don’t talk to the every day man calling with the standard, “Hi, how ya doing my internet doesn’t work, fix it.” type of issues. I get the pleasure of those  calls that are more along the lines of, “Let me speak to your supervisor now!

About half the time I can kill people with kindness – there is something about my country  accent that really talks people down off the edge. The other half are people who aren’t even wiling to listen to reason. Those are the people who make me sad for the human race and where it is going. My fellow man – why are you so angry?

I was talking to a woman today who was screeching at me non-stop. Had she stopped screeching about 30 seconds into her tirade she would have realized that I had resolved her issues. She would even pause to what I thought was long enough for me to start speaking, and the instant I uttered one sound from my mouth she would start in at screeching again. And when I say screeching,  I mean dogs from a 5 mile radius of this woman had to be in agony.

I don’t know what this lady thought her screeching in my ear was accomplishing. It didn’t cause me to magically have a new ability I didn’t have before she started screeching. All it accomplished was a headache and a need for about a pound of chocolate, and probably a hearing aid.

I don’t want this to come off sounding like I’m knocking my job, honestly I’m not. My boss is the nicest woman on this planet, and truthfully in this economy I’m lucky just to have a job. But it has taught me that people are insane. More so than myself, and that, dear reader, is terrifying!